


When Captains Collide

by Kirishimama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 1st yrs 3rd yrs in high school, 2nd yrs 1st yrs at uni, 3rd yrs are 2nd years at uni, AU, Akaashi's eyelashes, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bants, Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Friendship, Group Calls, Group chat, Humor, M/M, Phone Calls, Textfic, Ushiwaka is eternally confused, because im a lazy shit, bromance is strong, captain shenanigans, daichi is d o n e, enjoy, everyone will probs be at the same uni, good thats not a tag, hopefully nobodys ooc, i guess, i pray, more group chats are made, my poor son, namely, oikawa MOTHERFUCKING TOORU, other characters appear, rarepair kenyama, sassy setters, this is mostly crack, u meme a lot to me bro, videochat, well a poor attempt at it, why, wow they gel pretty well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-09-02 14:21:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8670877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirishimama/pseuds/Kirishimama
Summary: [12:49pm]D(one)aichi: Suga has the most beautiful smile. It takes my breath away everytime. My heart speeds up, palms get all clammy and words get caught in my throat.[12:57pm]Nekomeow: bro ur fuckedBowlkuto: r u in loveBowlkuto: coz i was like that around AkaashiNekomeow: dude literally no1 askedBowlkuto: but bro he is perfection[1:09pm]D(one)aichi: No. Suga is, in fact, the epitome of ethereal beauty.D(one)aichi: shit sorry about thAtD(one)aichi: Tanaka and Noya stole my phoneNekomeow: no they didntBowlkuto: no they didnt[1:17pm]Miracle-boy: I Do Not Understand What Is Going On Apart From The Fact That Sawamura Is LyingMiracle-boy: ?Nekomeow:.... just go with it UshiwakaMiracle-boy: Very Well.[1:23pm]Miracle-boy: It Appears These 'Tanaka and Noya' Did Not Take Your Phone Like You Had Said, Sawamura.D(one)aichi: no, they didn't...[1:50pm]Illuminaticonfirmed: nice try Dai-chan~ (＾ν＾)





	1. Chapter 1

_Nekomeow has created a new chat with Bowlkuto!_

**[5:36pm]**  
**Nekomeow:** oho ho

 **[5:41pm]**  
**Bowlkuto:** BR Ohoho

 **Nekomeow:** oya oya? Nice username bowl

 **[5:43pm]  
Nekomeow:** how dare u leave a bro on read

 **Bowlkuto:** ikr thx my dude  
**Bowlkuto:** sorry! Akaashi distracted me

 **[5:45pm]  
Nekomeow:**.... np i got chu  
**Nekomeow:** doesnt he always tho

 **Bowlkuto:** i have no idea what ur talkin about bro

 **[5:48pm]**  
**Nekomeow:** really?

 **[5:50pm]  
Bowlkuto:**.... yh

 **Nekomeow:** not even

 **[5:52pm]  
Nekomeow: ** late at night  
**Nekomeow:** when the kids are asleep

 **Bowlkuto:** bro stop p l z

 **[5:54pm]  
Nekomeow:** and after showering  
**Nekomeow:** the only dirty thing about u  
**Nekomeow:** is ur thoughts

 **[5:56pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** *whispers* no...

 **[5:59pm]  
Nekomeow: ** time to face the music bo  
**Nekomeow:** ur gay 4 ur setter

 **Bowlkuto:** noooooooo  
**Bowlkuto:** say it aint so!

 **[6:02pm]  
Nekomeow:** im afraid not  
**Nekomeow:** my gaydar doesnt lie

 **Bowlkuto:** but bro

 **Nekomeow:** wat

 **Bowlkuto:** u do

 **[6:09pm]  
Nekomeow:** LisTen u little Shit

 **Bowlkuto:** AHAHAHAH AHAHHA

 **[8:04pm]  
Bowlkuto:** btw ur username is pretty neat lolol  
**Bowlkuto:** Nekoma haha

 **Nekomeow:** tf did u disappear 2  
**Nekomeow:** wow u just noticed it

 **Bowlkuto:** Akaashi said my room was disgusting...  
**Bowlkuto:** ugh i had to clean it (＾_＾)

 **Nekomeow:** ur room is always nasty  
**Nekomeow:** i keep tellin u that

 **Bowlkuto:**  sorry

 **[8:09pm]  
Nekomeow: ** WHat kind of disrespek  
**Nekomeow:** u listen 2 ur bae and not ur bro?

 **Bowlkuto:** IM SORRY

 **Nekomeow:** what happened to honouring the bro code?  
**Nekomeow:** unbelievable

 **Bowlkuto:** Look  
**Bowlkuto:** hear me out dude

 **Nekomeow:**....

 **[8:11pm]  
Nekomeow:** im listening

 **Bowlkuto:** Akaashi has really pretty eyelashes that do strange things to my dick

 **Nekomeow:** wow i thought u were gonna explain to me why u love ur bae more than ur bro  
**Nekomeow:** but i just got a kink confession

 **[8:14pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** NO NO  
**Bowlkuto:** ITS NOT S KIMK ASHDJEJ

 **Nekomeow:** thats it

 **Bowlkuto:** wait f uc no

 **Nekomeow:** im doing it.

 **Bowlkuto:** br o

 **[8:17pm]  
Nekomeow: ** too late  
**Nekomeow:** Bokuto Koutarou

 **Bowlkuto:** omg i can make it up to u  
**Bowlkuto:** Kuroo pl z

 **Nekomeow:** consider urself  
**Nekomeow:** kinkshamed.

 **Bowlkuto:** AHSJWLWLWWJEBDBS

 **[8:20pm]  
Bowlkuto:** u r the sexiest macho-y manly bro of all times and i may always be a slut for doritos  
**Bowlkuto:** but i can be a slut for u

 **Nekomeow:** bro did u just confess ur undying love for me

 **Bowlkuto:** no just expressed my bromantic feelings

 **[8:26pm]  
Nekomeow:** omg

 **Bowlkuto:** sorry to be the bearer of bad news  
**Bowlkuto:** but

 **[8:28pm]  
Nekomeow:** s2g bo if u shit out an owl pun

 **[8:32pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** my lowlve belongs to another  
**Bowlkuto:** （╹◡╹）  
**Bowlkuto:** bro u kno u love em  
**Bowlkuto:** just like u love me （╹◡╹）♡

 **Nekomeow:** after that disgusting pun i am rethinking our entire relationship

 **[8:35pm]  
Nekomeow:** or lack thereof

 **Bowlkuto:** just like ur humor  
**Bowlkuto:** ouch my kokobro

 **Nekomeow:** oh bowl how you wound me!  
**Nekomeow:** OMFG DUUDE

 **[8:40pm]  
Bowlkuto:** *homor  
**Bowlkuto:** u like em, yes

 **Nekomeow:** NOOOO BO STAHP AHH

 **Bowlkuto:** how abhoot no to the above

 **Nekomeow:** how about u shut ur face gdi

 **Bowlkuto:** wow love u 2

 **Nekomeow:** thx bowl ♡

 **[8:44pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** as much as i love talkin 2 u

 **Nekomeow:**? Doesn't every1??

 **Bowlkuto:** bro ur a fuckin delight  
**Bowlkuto:** but wouldnt it be coowl 2 have a group chat

 **Nekomeow:** ok stroke my ego before u destroy it why dont ya

 **[8:48pm]  
Nekomeow:** (dont think i didnt see that pun idiot)  
**Nekomeow:** but i know just the people

 **[8:50pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** oho ho?

 **Nekomeow:** yh dont have their users tho

 **Bowlkuto:** so... bro y get my hopes up

 **Nekomeow:** wait im sure Kenma or Tsukki have em

 **Bowlkuto:** Tsukki? That lanky megane??  
**Bowlkuto:** oya oya finally got his # huh bro

 **Nekomeow:** yh man  
**Nekomeow:** got it from Kenma who got it from shorty who got it from Tsukki's freckled bff

 **Bowlkuto:** congrats bro  
**Bowlkuto:** even tho u didnt get it urself

 **[8:53pm]  
Nekomeow: ** i'll let that little comment pass coz u r a vip bro  
**Nekomeow:** ur still invited to our wedding

 **Bowlkuto:** my heart cant take ur sweet sentimental words plz have mercy

 **Nekomeow:** [New picture message!]  
**Nekomeow:** to quote an owl "how about no to the above" hoot

 **Bowlkuto:** B R O

 **[8:57pm]  
Bowlkuto:** hey dude  
**Bowlkuto:** u kno what else is little

 **Nekomeow:** ur dick

 **Bowlkuto:** well  
**Bowlkuto:** ur mum wasnt complaining last night bro

 **Nekomeow:** damn bowl  
**Nekomeow:** back at it again with the ded jokes

 **Bowlkuto:** about as ded as ur vball skillz

 **Nekomeow:** low blow man  
**Nekomeow:** anyways ready to get lit

 **Bowlkuto:** blazin #rekt

 **Nekomeow:** lol

 **[9:00pm]  
Nekomeow:** gimme a sex  
**Nekomeow:** *sec

 **Bowlkuto:** AH HAAHAHA LOL  
**Bowlkuto:** (u should ask tsukki for that)

 **Nekomeow:** on second thoughts **sex  
**Nekomeow:** (W  ͜ʖ ͡°) wink wonk  
**Nekomeow:** (b r o am i that thirsty 2 u)

 **Bowlkuto:** OMG ITS YOU AHAHA  
**Bowlkuto:** (yes totally)

 **[9:04pm]  
Nekomeow:** it me (W ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**Nekomeow:** (wow fuc u man)

 **[9:09pm]  
Bowlkuto:** i found moi ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ  
**Bowlkuto:** (no fuck Tsukki)

 **Nekomeow:** omg did u rlly just spend 5 mins lookin for that? LMAO  
**Nekomeow:** (WAT (that is the end goal))

 **Bowlkuto:** fite me  
**Bowlkuto:** (u act like i didn't know that bro)

 **Nekomeow:** but ur my bro  
**Nekomeow:** (well u already dont kno a lot of things so..)

 **Bowlkuto:** wrestle me my dude  
**Bowlkuto:** (HEY HEY HEY I KNOW SHIT)

 **Nekomeow:** well when u put it like that  
**Nekomeow:** how could i refuse?  
**Nekomeow:** (yh how to)

 **Bowlkuto:** bro i am honoured  
**Bowlkuto:** ((　ﾟдﾟ))

 **[9:13pm]  
Bowlkuto:** and here i thought you were a pussy

 **Nekomeow:** but i am my dear dude i am  
**Nekomeow:** a pussycat

 **[9:17pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** did u just

 **Nekomeow:** i did.

 **Bowlkuto:** im tearing up hold me

 **[9:20pm]  
Nekomeow:** i shall embrace u and whisper sweet nothings into ur ears

 **Bowlkuto:** *gasps* dont play me like this bro

 **Nekomeow:** but

 **Bowlkuto:** butt

 **[9:24pm]  
Nekomeow: ** no homo

 **[9:30pm]  
Nekomeow:** whered u go bo

 **[9:32pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** HAMMER TIME  
**Bowlkuto:** a bro had to go  
**Bowlkuto:** ygm

 **Nekomeow:** BO WTF  
**Nekomeow:** dude st op  
**Nekomeow:** ofc u did

 **Bowlkuto:** NEVER

 **Nekomeow:** GONNA

 **Bowlkuto:** GIVE YOU UP

 **[9:34pm]  
Nekomeow: ** GIVE YOU UP  
**Nekomeow:** gdi bowl

 **Bowlkuto:** AHAHAHAHA BEAT YOU TO IT BRO

 **Nekomeow:** (W_¬)  
**Nekomeow:** u kno what

 _Nekomeow has added  Illuminaticonfirmed,_ _Miracle-boy and_ _D(one)aichi to the chat!_

_Nekomeow has changed the group name to "Captains Say i"_

**Nekomeow:** yo! The name's Tetsurou...  
**Nekomeow:** Kuroo Tetsurou

 **Bowlkuto:** -and weLCOME TO DISNEY CHANNEL !!

 **Nekomeow:** bRo NO

 **[9:37pm]  
Bowlkuto:** bro YES  
**Bowlkuto:** Bokuto Koutaro Fukurodani's Super Ace  
**Bowlkuto:** and this is my criB

 **Nekomeow:** kms

 **[9:52pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:** Yoo-hoo~! This is Oikawa Tooru  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** the pleasure in meeting me is all urs! （＾ω＾）

 **[9:59pm]  
Miracle-boy:** Who Is Contacting Me At Such An Hour?

 **[10:01pm]  
Miracle-boy:** Oh.  
**Miracle-boy:** My Name Is Ushijima Wakatoshi. Hello.

_Illuminaticonfirmed has left the chat :(_

**Bowlkuto:** heY HEY HEY

_Nekomeow has added  Illuminaticonfirmed to the chat!_

**Nekomeow:** how rude!

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** what's rude is forcing me to be here against my will !!

 **Bowlkuto:** y u gotta be like that bro  
**Bowlkuto:** just a bit of harmless fun

 **Nekomeow:** ^ yh yh

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** |(￣3￣)| hmph

 **[10:10pm]  
D(one)aichi:** wth is this group chat? Lol Sawamura Daichi here

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** ohh its Dai-chan! Hi!

 **D(one)aichi:** hello Oikawa-san

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** just call me Too-ru~

 **D(one)aichi:** ok Too-ru~

 **[10:13pm]  
Miracle-boy:** That Was Amusing.

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** mean (＾_＾)

 **Bowlkuto:** oya oya didnt know u knew ur wife's cap my man

 **Nekomeow:** call me old fashioned  
**Nekomeow:** but ofc i do i needed to get his parents permission after all

 **D(one)aichi:** idk what you're talking about Kuroo  
**D(one)aichi:** but i haven't given you permission for anything

 **Bowlkuto:** AHAHAHA #rekt

 **[10:16pm]  
D(one)aichi:** and i'm nobodies parent omg

 **[10:20pm]  
Nekomeow: ** get fucked bowl

 **Bowlkuto:** only if u do the honours bro

 **Nekomeow:** #nohomo

 **[10:23pm]  
D(one)aichi:** what just happened in the

 **[10:24pm]  
D(one)aichi:**....8 minutes i was away ?

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** idiots happened Dadchi

 **D(one)aichi:** ohmy fuc

 **[10:29pm]  
Nekomeow: ** once again for the people in the back Too-ru~

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** ID-I-OTS~!!

 **Bowlkuto:** thank u  
**Bowlkuto:** its hard to hear anything back here  
**Bowlkuto:** where all the cool kids r

 **Nekomeow:** but Too-ru~ wouldn't know that becoz he isn't a cool kid

 **[10:33pm]  
D(one)aichi:** lol  
**D(one)aichi:** are you gonna take that sass Tooru

 **Nekomeow:** my oh my  
**Nekomeow:** r u trying to start a fight Daichi?

 **Bowlkuto:** oho ho?

 **D(one)aichi:** I would never  
**D(one)aichi:**...  
**D(one)aichi:**  ( ◠‿◠ )

 **[10:37pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:** WHY ARE U ALL SO MEAN TO ME~!!? (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

 **Miracle-Boy:** Oikawa.  
**Miracle-boy:** I Have A Question For You That I Would Like You To Answer  
**Miracle-boy:** ?

 **[10:39pm]  
Nekomeow: ** hoh boy

 **Bowlkuto:** bro can u smell the tension in here

 **[10:41pm]  
D(one)aichi:** are you sure its not just yourself ?

 **Nekomeow:** OHHHHH #savage  
**Nekomeow:** U STILL ALIVE THERE BOWL?!

 **Bowlkuto:** DAICHI MY MAN THE BETRAYAL

 **[10:48pm]  
D(one)aichi:** what can I say?  
**D(one)aichi:** I mean sorry would be one of the things  
**D(one)aichi:** but I'm not so...

 **Nekomeow:** AHAHAHAHA RIP BOWL LMAO

 **Bowlkuto:** how could u do this 2 meh  
**Bowlkuto:** (●´ω｀●)

 **[10:53pm]  
D(one)aichi:** quite easily actually  
**D(one)aichi:** shit Suga's rubbing off on me

 **Nekomeow:** LOL just a lil bit there

 **[10:56pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** oho? Mr. Refreshing~?  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** and i will gladly answer ur question Waka-chan~

 **Miracle-boy:** Oh. Great.  
**Miracle-boy:** So..?

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** no need to repeat the question my dear~  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** i can see that thinking hurts u too much

 **Bowlkuto:** #shade

 **[11:00pm]  
Miracle-boy: ** But I Haven't Asked It Yet  
**Miracle-boy:** ?  
**Miracle-boy:** And I Do Have A Headache.

 **Nekomeow:**....

 **Bowlkuto:** i cant breathe

 **Nekomeow:** deep breaths bo  
**Nekomeow:** pft

 **Miracle-boy:** Thank You For Your Concern, Oikawa.

 **[11:07pm]  
D(one)aichi:** oh the poor soul

 **Miracle-boy:** But If You Could Answer My Question ?  
**Miracle-boy:** The Hour Is Late And I Have Practice Early Tomorrow Morning.

 **Nekomeow:** oho ho? What's the question hm

 **Bowlkuto:** ^ yh 1st ive heard of this

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** okey-dokey

 **Bowlkuto:** bro i just shivered

 **Nekomeow:** me 2  
**Nekomeow:** a smackdown is coming

 **Bowlkuto:** #shook

 **[11:12pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:** no i should not have and will not go to Shitatorizawa. Ever.  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** like not even for a trip   
**Illuminaticonfirmed:**  my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren will not step foot on those grounds   
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** nobody with my royal blood will attend ur shitty academy try me and i will make it a family tradition

 **Nekomeow:** FUUUCCCK #shotdown #TKO

 **Bowlkuto:** THAT WAS BEAU-TI-FOWL

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** just like me~ (＾ν＾)

 **[11:18pm]  
Miracle-boy:** *Shiratorizawa  
**Miracle-boy:** And Why Not? It Is An Exceptional Academy. I Attended There, After All.

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** first of all  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** **Shitatorizawa

 **Bowlkuto:** #shotsfired

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** secondly fuck u  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** thirdly why r u still asking when u graduated  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** dumb fu c k  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:**  go shove ur expired invitation up ur ass

 **[11:20pm]  
Miracle-boy:** I See.  
**Miracle-boy:** Your Passion Even In Turning Down My Invitation Is Why You Should Have Come To Shiratorizawa.

 **Nekomeow:** omfgwow i can hear his heart breaking all the way here in Tokyo

 **Bowlkuto:** i can almost taste the salt in his tears bro

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:**  R U SHITTING ME USHIWAKA **  
Illuminaticonfirmed:**  oh yeh and finally  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** F U CK U

 **Bowlkuto:** NO MER C Y

 **Miracle-boy:** I Do Not Understand.  
**Miracle-Boy:** Why Would You Want To Have Sexual Intercourse With Me?

 **Nekomeow:** oh

 **Bowlkuto:** my

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** fucking god

 **[11:23pm]  
Miracle-boy:** Although I Am Flattered, I Will Have To Decline.  
**Miracle-boy:** I Do Not Want To Be The Reason For A Couple To Break Up.

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** how dare u reject an ethereal being such as i  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** wait what

 **Nekomeow:** what

 **Bowlkuto:** w h a t

 **[11:25pm]  
Miracle-boy:** I Was Told You Were In A Passionate Relationship With That So-called Ace Of Yours  
**Miracle-boy:** Iwaizumi Hajime ?

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** ('◉⌓◉’) wtf Waka-chan  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** "so-called ace" tch go fuck a duck Waka-baka  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** he's a better Ace than you'll ever be hun

 **[11:27pm]  
Miracle-boy:** I Doubt That.  
**Miracle-boy:** Everyone On That Team Is Weak. Apart From You, That Is.

 **[11:29pm]  
Miracle-boy:** And Was I Misinformed?

 **Nekomeow:** SO BLUNT  
**Nekomeow:** this is gold omg

 **Bowlkuto:**.... bro im screenshotting this

 **[11:29pm]  
Miracle-boy:** I See.  
**Miracle-boy:** Excuse Me. I Need To Have A Chat With Tendou.  
**Miracle-boy:** Farewell.

_Miracle-boy has left the chat :(_

_Bowlkuto has changed the group name to "RIP in peace Tendou"_

**Illuminaticonfirmed:** ehaT a FUckinh CUNY  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** i s2g when i get my hands on him he's DEAD

 **Bowlkuto:** CHILL TOORU

 **Nekomeow:** no bro let him rant  
**Nekomeow:** its funny lolol

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** I WILL NOT  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** NOT UNTIL I HAVE MY REVENGE  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** AND IT WILL BE SWEETER THAN MY FUCKING ASSHOLE

_Illuminaticonfirmed has left the chat :(_

_Bowlkuto has changed the group name to "Tooru's sweet af asshole"_

**Nekomeow:** omg nice bro  
**Nekomeow:**  they do realise that one of us has to add them back right

 **Bowlkuto:** thx dude  
**Bowlkuto:** and probably n(ho)ot

 **[11:38pm]  
Nekomeow: ** just  
**Nekomeow:** go 2 sleep bro  
**Nekomeow:** its 2 late for ur shit

 **Bowlkuto:** (　ﾟдﾟ)  
**Bowlkuto:** but owls r nocturnal

 **Nekomeow:** yes and u r not one

 **[11:44pm]  
Bowlkuto:** r u sure  
**Bowlkuto:** the disrespek

 **Nekomeow:** gn bo

 **[11:47pm]  
Bowlkuto:**...

 **[12:00am]  
Bowlkuto:** i'll take that as a no

____________

 **[7:23am]  
D(one)aichi:** wtf have I missed..?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit on a stick. Wow guys, so much positive feedback!! AHHH please continue to give this fic your support, and if there is anything I write that is offensive, OOC, not funny(because this is a humour based fic ftw), or any grammar or spelling mistakes; don't hesitate to tell me~  
> Also THI S SOMEHOW TURNED INTO A COLLEGE/UNI AU??????? NO IDEA HOW BUT O K  
> Hope you still like it?  
> Enjoy

It was a Sunday that Bokuto found himself pursing his lips and furrowing his eyebrows at the luminescent screen in his grasp. He was never one to actually _feel_ lost; he just _got_ lost. He was confused, honest to god confused, and he couldn't help the way his stomach churned- with what, he didn't know, but he didn't like it.

He hummed under his breath as his fingers tapped away on his phone.

_Bowlkuto  has created a new chat with Nekomeow!_

**[10:32am]  
Bowlkuto:** hey bro  
**Bowlkuto:** when did u meet Oikawa

He let out a puff of air as he sent the two messages, and lightly ruffled his hair as he flipped over onto his back from his position on his bed.

He squawked when his phone suddenly vibrated in his hands and he let out a very manly screech when said item fell from his fingertips and jabbed him in one of his eyes.

"ACK-!" He choked on a shout when the phone vibrated again, still very much on his face, and he fumbled to grab it before it slid off his cheeks and onto the floor.

 **[10:56am]  
** **Nekomeow:** wat  
**Nekomeow:** oh he's in my calc class

Bokuto's tongue poked out through his lips and he squinted at the screen as he typed out a reply.

 **[10:59am]  
** **Bowlkuto:** hm k  
**Bowlkuto:** was just wonderin when u met him lol

He cringed at his own message, knowing it was slightly out of character for him, and sent a quick prayer to Akaashi-sama that Kuroo wouldn't noti-

 **[11:05am]  
** **Nekomeow:** tbh i only saw him like last wk  
**Nekomeow:** didn't even kno who he was  
**Nekomeow:** but apparently some of his fangirls followed him here pft

 **[11:07am]  
** **Nekomeow:** whats up bro?

 **Bowlkuto:** nothinf!

 _Shit_.

 **[11:09am]  
Nekomeow: ** mh su-re

"ARGH!" Bokuto shouted, jumping up off of his bed and flinging the phone onto his crumpled covers as he gripped his hair in a panic. "HE KNOWS!"

" _Who_ knows _what_ , Bokuto?"

The boy yelped at the sound of a voice and he snapped his head around to his doorway, eyes widening and mouth comically dropping open in shock. " _AKAGASHI_!?"

'Akagashi' hummed to himself and slowly walked through the door, entering Bokuto's bedroom and stalked over towards said persons desk.

"Is something the matter, Bokuto?" He asked, gently leaning against the light brown wood of his desk, and placing his left palm on the space behind him.

"N-No!"

He blinked at Bokuto's stuttered shout and took his hunched shoulders into consideration, shamelessly roaming his eyes over the clothed muscled back facing him.

".... Ok," he slowly spoke, dragging his eyes up to meet the golden ones peering at him over their shoulder, "Did pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san say something to upset you again?"

" _DEFINITELY NO-_ " Bokuto's shout was interrupted by a tinkling tune suspiciously coming from the direction his phone was in, which was somewhere on his bed, and Akaashi couldn't help the deadpanned expression from appearing on his face.

"Is that..." he took a deep, _deep_ breath, "Is your ringtone _Nyan cat_?"

A bead of sweat dripped down Bokuto's forehead and he heavily gulped, "I-It's _Kuroo's_!" He squawked, "My actual ringtone isn't t- _that_!" His arms flailed about teying to deny the accusation that wasn't wholly true.

The darker haired teen lightly rolled his eyes at the dual-haired teens dramatics and pushed off of the desk to stand up and make his way towards the door.

" _Akaashi_?"

"Please make sure to keep the noise down, you don't want a repeat of last time, do you?" He pointedly looked at the older teen over his shoulder, "Goodbye, Bokuto... -san."

Bokuto blubbered at the closed door and collapsed to his knees, all the while sniffling as he blindly reached out for his phone with his head face down on the bed.

_The line clicked after 3 dials. "Oho ho?"_

"Bro," Bokuto whimpered, "You have the worst timing!" He complained, furrowing his eyebrows as he pouted.

_"Nyan~"_

His head snapped upwards as the word reached his ears, and he widened his eyes in astonishment. "How did you-"

_"How's Akaashi doing?" Kuroo smugly interrupted, humming into the phone, "Left you yet?" He teased._

Bokuto's mouth lay agape as he tried to process his words, before he narrowed his eyes and shouted down the phone. "HOW DID YOU KNOW HE HEARD IT?!"

_"Why else would you say, and I quote 'you have the worst timing!'"_

 "Fair enough, but how did you know what my ringtone for you was!?" He spluttered.

_".... Who the fuck do you think set it to that?!"_

"OH!"

_"Idiot. Why am I friends with you?"_

He huffed at the exasperated sigh, "Whatever," he sulkily mumbled, shuffling about until he was draped over his bed with his legs hanging off the edge.

_"I'm sorry, bro."_

He blinked up at the ceiling, "Huh?" He said, ever the smart one.

_"I should've told you about Oikawa.."_

A small grin wormed its way onto his face, "It's fine, dude," he chuckled, "You told me now, didn't you?"

_The line was quiet for a few seconds before a sigh fed through. ".... Yeah."_

A chortle sounded from the back of his throat at his tone of voice, and Bokuto bit his tongue to stop from full out laughing.

_"How dare you laugh at me!"_

He howled with laughter, and tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, "I-I'm not!" He wheezed.

_"You are! And here I was pouring my heart out to you!"_

He put a hand to his chest as if wounded, and dramatically gasped into the phone, "And I was so ready to catch it!"

_"Wow. Way to make it gay, Bo."_

He scoffed, "Like you're not already."

_"Are you calling me a liar?"_

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief, lips curling into a smirk when he recognised Kuroo's teasing tone. "You're gay; _super_  gay," he stated.

_"Am not."_

"Are too," he bantered. "You are _this_ \- hang on." He pulled the phone away from his ear, quickly switched it on speaker mode, and clicked open his phones internet app.

_"What are you doing?" Kuroo's voice crackled through his phone's speakers_

Bokuto bit his lip at his own actions, breath leaving him as he tried to keep his voice clear. "C-Check your messages," he wheezed, grinning from ear to ear. "Did you get the picture?" He asked, taking the phone off speaker mode.

_"Oh my go- what the fuck?"_

He snickered at Kuroo's choked statement and pursed his lips. "You're that much gay."

_"THAT'S A PICTURE OF A FUCKIN' OCEAN!"_

Bokuto's hooting laughter echoed throughout the whole dorm, and, needless to say, there was a firm repeat of 'last time'.

(Which was really just the other 4 inhabitants of the dorm locking said Owl-obsessor out of the building at Akaashi's encouragement.)

* * *

**_{Tooru's sweet af asshole}_ **

**[12:15pm]  
D(one)aichi: ** Guys

 **Nekomeow:** im gonna have to stop u there Daichi my man

 **D(one)aichi:**... Ok

 _Nekomeow has added  Illuminaticonfirmed and_ _Miracle-boy to the chat!_

 **Bowlkuto:** #squadreunited  
**Bowlkuto:** O HO

_Bowlkuto has changed the group name to "#CaptainSquad"_

**Nekomeow:** lmao  
**Nekomeow:** ok 

 **[12:17pm]  
Nekomeow:** u may continue ( W ω ^ )

 **D(one)aichi:** Alright. Did you know  
**D(one)aichi:** No, wait  
**D(one)aichi:** Can i just say

 **Nekomeow:** i'll allow it

 **Bowlkuto:** u can

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** u may (　˙-˙)

 **Miracle-boy:** I Shall Permit It.

 **Nekomeow:** did

 **Bowlkuto:** u

 **Nekomeow:** just

 **Bowlkuto:** make

 **Nekomeow:** a

 **Bowlkuto:** joke?

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** (◉⌓◉)

 **Miracle-boy:** I Was Simply Giving My Permission For Sawamura To Say Something  
**Miracle-boy:**?

 ** **[12:23pm]  
** Illuminaticonfirmed: **oh Waka-chan! Ur stupidity continues to surprise me~!

 **Nekomeow:** false alarm boys  
**Nekomeow:** comedian Ushiwaka hasn't made his debut yet

 **Miracle-boy:** As Flattered As I Am, Being A Comedian Is Not The Kind Of Career I Would Like To Pursue.

 ** **[12:27pm]  
** Bowlkuto: **bro where did u find this guy

 **Nekomeow:** oh u kno  
**Nekomeow:** just saw him on the street  
**Nekomeow:** and being the wonderful, selfless person that i am  
**Nekomeow:** i took him in

 **Bowlkuto:** ri ght

 **D(one)aichi:** Right

 ** **[12:31pm]  
** lluminaticonfirmed: **right~

 **Miracle-boy:** I Am Left-Handed.

 **Nekomeow:** YES RIGHT GDI  
**Nekomeow:** wait

 ** **[12:32pm]  
** Nekomeow: ** wtf Ushiwaka

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** OMFG WAKA-CHAN !!

 **Bowl:** D U D E

 **D(one)aichi:** That was actually pretty funny lol

 ** **[12:38pm]  
** Miracle-boy: **I Am Glad You Found That Amusing, Sawamura  
**Miracle-boy:** However I Do Not Think That Is What You Wanted To Say ?

 **D(one)aichi:** Ah. No it wasn't

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** hang on a sec Dai-chan

 **Nekomeow:** well fuck

 **[12:40pm]**  
**Bolwkuto:** so wait  
**Bowlkuto:** that was a jk ?!

 **Miracle-boy:** Yes. That Is What I Had Meant It To Be.

 **Bowlkuto:** dman  
**Bowlkuto:** *damn

 **Nekomeow:** well what do ya kno  
**Nekomeow:** mr. japan has a sense of humour after all

 **[12:42pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:** no matter how shit-ty it is~

 **Bowlkuto:** OOOHHH #savage

 **Nekomeow:** ^^ #oikawanochilltooru

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** ( ^ ω ^ )

 ** **[12:50pm]  
** D(one)aichi: **If i may? **  
D(one)aichi:** Suga has the most beautiful smile. It takes my breath away every time. My heart speeds up, palms get all clammy and words get caught in my throat.

 **[12:57pm **]  
** Nekomeow:** bro ur fucked

 **Bowlkuto:** r u in love  
**Bowlkuto:** coz i was like that around Akaashi

 **Nekomeow:** dude literally no1 asked

 **Bowlkuto:** but bro he is perfection

 **[1:09pm **]  
** D(one)aichi:** No. Suga is, in fact, the epitome of ethereal beauty.  
**D(one)aichi:** Shit sorry about thAt  
**D(one)aichi:** Tanaka and Noya stole my phone

 **Nekomeow:** no they didnt

 **Bowlkuto:** no they didnt

 **[1:17pm **]  
** Miracle-boy:** I Do Not Understand What Is Going On Apart From The Fact That Sawamura Is Lying  
**Miracle-boy:**?

 **Nekomeow:**.... just go with it Ushiwaka

 **Miracle-boy:** Very Well.

 **[1:23pm]  
Miracle-boy:** It Appears These 'Tanaka And Noya' That You Have Spoken About, Did Not Take Your Phone Like You Had Said, Sawamura.

 **D(one)aichi:** No, they didn't...

 **[1:50pm **]  
******Illuminaticonfirmed:** nice try Dai-chan~ (＾ν＾)

* * *

Akaashi was _worried_.

It was a relatively calm evening, if you counted Bokuto's happy hoots every so often as calming.

But he digresses. All was calm; the sun was setting and the two of them were relaxing in Akaashi's decently sized dorm-room.

"Bokuto," he called out, gently closing the book in his grasp and frowning down at the grinning teen that was sat beside his bed.

"Hm?"

He frowned to himself at the lacklustre response. "Can I have a kiss?" He slowly blinked down at Bokuto and raised a single 'brow as he continued to stare at his phone.

"Uh huh."

"Will you marry me?"

"Mh."

"I think I'm pregnant."

"Congratula- wait, _what_?"

Akaashi sighed to himself at the confused answer before sitting up properly on his bed. "I've been trying to get your attention for the past _half an hour_ , Bokuto."

Said owl blinked in surprise before he lept up off of the floor, mouth stretched wide open and arms flailing, " _AKAASFHFGSHI_!" He howled, chucking himself at the dark haired boy. "I'M SO SORRY, ALAADBDJDSHI!"

All was forgiven, and that was that.

Well, it would've been, had Bokuto not then proceeded to go back on his phone and ignore him for _two hours straight._

It was time to bring out the big guns.

_Owlsareoverrated  has created a new chat with SugaDaddy!_

**[6:12pm]  
Owlsareoverrated:** Hello.

 **[6:39pm]  
SugaDaddy:** Hi!

 **[6:46pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** Oh, you answered.

 **SugaDaddy:** Is something the matter??

 **[7:02pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** Yes. I am being neglected by my lover.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** But before we get into that, I want to apologise for getting your username through an acquaintance of mine and not from you, yourself.

 **[7:10pm]**  
**SugaDaddy:**  Ah, that's fine!  
**SugaDaddy:** But I would like to know who I'm talking to?  
**SugaDaddy:** I assume you already know who I am?

 **[7:13pm** **]**  
**Owlsareoverrated:** This is Akaashi Keiji  
**Owlsareoverrated:** and I do hope you are Sugawara Koushi otherwise this is going to get very awkward very fast.

 **SugaDaddy:**.....  
**SugaDaddy:** Uhm

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Well.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** I apologise for wasting your time.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** Enjoy the rest of your day.

_Owlsareoverrated has left the chat :(_

"Shit!" The silver haired teen swore under his breath, guiltily flinching before his fingers frantically tapped at his phone.

"Suga?"

He let out a breath through his nose, "How do I create a chat again? Oh god," he incessantly mumbled under his breath, wringing his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes flickered across his phone screen.

" _Suga_!"

He jumped in his seat, and his honeyed brown eyes blinked up at the calling of his name and he sheepishly smiled at the exasperated expression on their face. "Ah ha ha, sorry, Daichi!"

The man sighed through his nose and shook his head, "It's _fine_ , Suga," he amusedly replied upon seeing the guilty expression on his face, "Are you ok, though?" He flicked the page of a textbook strewn across the table and peered at Suga out of the corner of his eyes, "You were mumbling and swearing under your breath.." 

"Oh." Suga blinked, " _Oh_! It's Akaashi!" He chirped, turning sideways to face the man beside him before flipping his phone around in his grasp so he could show Daichi their conversation, "I think something's the matter but he left the private chat with me before I could reply properly!" He complained, propping an arm up on the table and leaning a cheek on his palm.

Daichi raised an eyebrow at him and quickly read through the messages presented to him with a skeptical eye. "I wonder why that would be?" He droned, pointedly looking at Suga, "It's not like you were trolling him or anything..."

"Why, Daichi, I don't know what you're talking about!" He gasped, dramatically holding a hand up to his chest as he acted offended.

Daichi lightly scoffed at his actions and waved a hand at him, "Sure, sure. Just hurry up and create a chat with him, yeah?"

"Of course I will..." he trailed off, strange glint in his eye as his lips twitched upwards, "Dadchi."

Suga would be the death of him one day, and wasn't that a _lovely_ thought to have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! (and thank you for any comments or Kudos!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is slightly longer than the other chaps(i think) so ah idk where i was going with this... it's not quite a pretty setters squad chat(hurhur yet) but honestly these chats i'm doin is it weird that the characters in them gel pretty well? HOPE NO ONE IS OOC AND PLZ CONTINUE TO GIVE ME YOUR SUPPORT! P.s Terushima will make an appearance probably next chap lol he is coming that's why he's in the tags~ OH AND ANY RECOMMENDED SCENARIOS or scenes you want to be discussed in the group chat i would be more than welcome to do~

_SugaDaddy has created a new chat with  Owlsareoverrated!_

**[4:31pm]**  
**SugaDaddy:** I'm sorry Akaashi!  
**SugaDaddy:** I am Sugawara Koushi!!

 **[5:00pm]Owlsareoverrated:** Oh.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** I apologise ?

 **SugaDaddy:** No no! It's my fault for tricking you !!

 **[5:08pm]  
SugaDaddy: ** Ok, so what was the problem and can i help??

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Ah, right  
**Owlsareoverrated:** It appears that Bokuto

 **[5:16pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** Wait you remember Bokuto, right?

 **SugaDaddy:** Fukurodani's Ace ???

 **Owlsareoverrated:**.... yes, that is him

 **SugaDaddy:** Got it!!

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Ok, well

 **[5:19pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** Long story short; I'm dating the idiot, but lately he seems more interested in his phone than in me?

 **SugaDaddy:** in you?*wiggles eyebrows*

 **Owlsareoverrated:** ohmy gOd Sugawara-san  
**Owlsareoverrated:** *oh my god

 **SugaDaddy:** Ha ha sorry  
**SugaDaddy:** I couldn't resist~

 **[5:23pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** It's ok...

 **SugaDaddy:** Hmm  
**SugaDaddy:**  I have an idea!

 **Owlsareoverrated:** ??

 **SugaDaddy:** It isn't anything bad  
**SugaDaddy:** I think  
**SugaDaddy:** but! I've heard around and a few people have a similar problem and ??

 **[5:29pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** Are you suggesting we make a group chat Sugawara-san?

 **SugaDaddy:** I am!  
**SugaDaddy:** and just Suga is fine!

 **[5:32pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** ... Very well Suga-san  
**Owlsareoverrated:** I have no problem with it, unless any of them are of an offensive nature?

 **SugaDaddy:** Oh no no!  
**SugaDaddy:** I've met all of them!

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Ok.

* * *

Iwaizumi Hajime was not one for being on his phone- let alone being in group chats or hell giving his username or number out. Honestly, he didn't even realise he had this App. (Shittykawa probably had something to do with why it was on his phone in the first place.)

Curious as he was, he gently peeled off his reading glasses, and set the paperback book of _Nutritional Health and ways to improve yours_ down onto his desk. (Which, frankly, was beginning to give him a headache.)

He flipped open his phone(assikawa can go suck his dick with his sleek-ass 21st century touchscreen phone) and clicked open the app the notification came from.

_SugaDaddy has added **you** , Owlsareoverrated, Yakult and Semi-skimmed to the chat!_

_SugaDaddy has changed the group name to "MILF's"_

**[5:49pm]  
SugaDaddy: ** Hi!!

"Who the fuck is SugaDaddy?"

His eyes scanned the opened chat, and his eyebrows furrowed the longer he stared at it. "MILF's? What does that mean?"

His phone buzzed again in his hand, and he absentmindedly looked at it.

 **[5:54pm]  
Owlsareoverrated:** Hello all.

Who was this?? And what kind of username was _that_? 

He snorted at its ridiculousness and bent over to unplug his phone and switch off the plug.

"Where's that piece of shit?" He mused to himself, shutting his phone and shoving it into the pocket of his sweatpants.

He was going to regret this, but-

"HEY, CRAPPYKAWA!" Iwaizumi yelled, knowing the other teen could hear him despite being in a different room.

" _WHAT_?!" Came the muffled reply, and Iwaizumi snorted in amusement when the sound of bottles clattering and a shower curtain being yanked hit his ears.

"Dumbass," he snickered, socked feet lightly padding on the wooden floor as he left his room and trailed down the short corridor to their shared bathroom.

"Oi!" He rapped on the door, "Hurry up!" He barked, "I need to ask you something!"

He very, _very_ patiently waited for the man-child to exit the bathroom, in the mean time actually replying to _SugaDaddy_ and _Owlsareoverrated_ with his own greeting.

 **[6:05pm]  
You:** wtf is this

"Yes, Iwa-chan~?"

His head shot up when he heard that godforsaken nickname, and his eyes instantly locked onto towel hanging off of a slim waist which Iwaizumi certainly did not gulp and drool at. Nope. No sirey.

He grunted. "What does MILF mean?"

Oikawa literally choked on air at the question. "W-What!?" 

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes. "I asked what MILF stood for." He raised a mocking eyebrow at him. "You _do_ know what it means, right?"

"Of course I do!" Oikawa screeched, "Who do you take me for!?"

He opened his mouth to answer, when Oikawa raised a limp hand and mumbled; "Please don't answer that."

He took it as his win and shot him a smirk, "So, gonna tell me what it stands for or what, assikawa?"

Oikawa raised a hand to cover his mouth and Iwaizumi folded his arms across his chest, because whatever that word stood for could not be good if it made Oikawa laugh(or, in turn, it could be complete and utter shit because Oikawa had a fucked up sense of humour which, when Iwaizumi thought about it _right now_ , matched his just as shit personality).

"It means Mum I'd Like to Fuck." The teen with said shit sense of humour giggled, obviously finding amusement in the way Iwaizumi's cheeks lit up. "Why did you want to know~?" He grinned.

Iwaizumi huffed and rolled his eyes. "Just did," he said, trying to shake of his slight embarrassment at the word and shoved his phone into his pocket and out of Oikawa's vie-

"Is that your phone, Iwa-chan!?"

Too late.

"No." He would rather die than Oikawa find out he was actually using his phone because then Oikawa would think it'd be ok to text him. (He was so glad he deleted that other App. Slapchat, was it?)

_{Ping!}_

"What was that?" Oikawa suspiciously asked, taking a looming step towards the dark haired man, "I _know_ that was your phone!"

Iwaizumi shook his head in denial. "Nope. You're hearing things," he ground out, "Maybe if you didn't talk about yourself 24/7 then you could hear better without all that shit blocking your ears!" And he swiftly turned around and stomped into his room.

"YOU CAN'T LIE TO ME, IWA-CHAN!"

"WATCH ME, SHITTYKAWA!"

* * *

 **[6:26pm]  
SugaDaddy: ** Oh! A group chat~

 **You:** i see that

"Oh! Mr. Refreshing, huh?"

Iwaizumi jumped about 4 metres into the air. "Jesus- shit!" He yelped, tightening his grip on his phone so it wouldn't go flying, and he turned around in his seat on their sofa to glare at the interruption.

"Sorry~" Oikawa sung, voice saying otherwise as he flopped down beside the smalled man. "Whatcha doing, Iwa-chan?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm in the middle of sending a saucy text so could you not interrupt me please?"

"MEAN!"

......

 **[6:38pm]  
Yakult: ** what have u added me to suga

 **SugaDaddy:** A chat with amazing people who may or may not have been called mum by their previous teammates~? **  
SugaDaddy:** （╹◡╹）

 **[6:43pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** That is.... scarily accurate.  
**Owlsareoverrated:**  How did you know that some people on my team called me that to my complete and utter dismay?

 **SugaDaddy:**.... just a feeling~!

 **You:** no1 called me that ?

Iwaizumi pursed his lips.

 **SugaDaddy:** not even Oikawa??

He paused in his typing and glanced over at the man dramatically draped across the sofa.

"Oho? Finally paying attention to m-!"

He chucked a cushion straight at his face.

(Oikawa chuckled under his breath from beneath the cushion. "I wonder if he knows his own username?" He snorted at the thought, "Yeah, right." A snicker sounded from his nose.)

 **[7:01pm]  
** **You:** on the other hand  
**You:** yes every1 did  
**You:**....fml

 **[7:03pm]  
Yakult:** wtf i was never ever called that

 **You:** sounds like a lie

 **[7:05pm]  
SugaDaddy:** Oh really?

 **Yakult:** really

 **SugaDaddy:** Ok then

 **[7:09pm]**  
**SugaDaddy:** Nekomama

_Yakult has left the chat :(_

**You:** lol nice one suga

 **SugaDaddy:** Why thank you Iwa-chan!

_**You** have left the chat :(_

It was fun while it lasted, he thought, absentmindedly rolling the sleeves up on his top, but he found he had more important things to do.

Like kill a certain narcissist.

"IWA-CHAN, WHAT DID I DO?"

" _EXIST_!"

* * *

 **[7:15pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** Suga-san you are defeating the purpose of this chat.

 **SugaDaddy:** Sorry Akaashi!

_SugaDaddy has added  Yakult and Godziwa to the chat!_

**[7:23pm]  
Semi-skimmed: ** who the fuck when the fuck why fuck

 **[7:28pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** That's a lot of fucks

 **Semi-skimmed:** thx

 **[7:36pm]  
Semi-skimmed: ** now who the hell are you people

 **Godziwa:** lol

 **Yakult:** i was almost concerned over those fucks

 **[7:38pm]  
Yakult: ** but u took all the ones i would give

 **SugaDaddy:** Oh Snap!

 **Semi-skimmed:** that's nice  
**Semi-skimmed:** it's a shame i d c

_Semi-skimmed has left the chat :(_

**[7:43pm]**  
**Godziwa:** wow sensitive much

 **Yakult:** ooh

 **Owlsareoverrrated:** 'Semi-skimmed' did have a point though  
**Owlsareoverrated:** Somewhere beneath all those fucks

 **[7:47pm]  
SugaDaddy: ** LOL

 **Godziwa:** oh yh?  
**Godziwa:** and what point would that be

 **Yakult:** probs that we don't know who anyone is  
**Yakult:** except i do know that SugaDaddy is Sugawara Koushi

 **[7:53pm]  
** **SugaDaddy:** Well reveal my identity why don't you Yaku Morisuke  
**SugaDaddy:** You sure don't want to give them my address as well?  
**SugaDaddy:** Maybe my firstborn too ??

 **Godziwa:** omfG

 **Yakult:** oh little daisuga? Hows the tyke doin btw  
**Yakult:** its a shame idk ur address tbh

 **[8:01pm]  
** **Godziwa:** daisuga?  
**Godziwa:** you have a child sugawara?

 **SugaDaddy:** GFDI YAKU

 **Yakult:** problem ?

 **Owlsareoverrated:** why does daisuga sound like Daichi and your love child Suga-san?

 **[8:09pm]  
Yakult:** becoz it is

 **SugaDaddy:** Yaku do everyone a favour and  
**SugaDaddy:** s t f u

 **[8:11pm]  
Godziwa:** oooh sugawara i didnt know you had it in ya

 **Yakult:** pft nobody does  
**Yakult** : (¬_¬)

 **SugaDaddy:** I am offended and you still have not apologised

 **[8:16pm]  
Yakult:** fine

 **[8:17pm]**  
**Yakult:** im sorry for revealing ur name and the fact that u have a child  
**Yakult:** u should be proud tho daisuga is a fine young man

 **Godziwa:** i.... have a bad feeling about this

 **[8:24pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** Indeed.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** I do not think that was the apology Suga-san was after Yaku-san.

 **Yakult:** i dont see how

 **[8:38pm]  
SugaDaddy:** You are dead to me.

_SugaDaddy has left the chat :(_

And _hey_. If anyone at 8:39pm on a relatively calm Thursday evening heard a screech somewhere on campus; _they didn't._

* * *

 **[8:50pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** He's doing it again.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** (＾_＾)

 **[8:53pm]  
Godziwa: ** wat

 **SugaDaddy:** Ah!!  
**SugaDaddy:** The reason this groupchat exists!

 **[8:55pm]  
Yakult: ** there's actually a reason for your madness suga?!

 **SugaDaddy:** Yaku  
**SugaDaddy:** fuck o f f

 **Yakult:** ouch my heart

 **[8:57pm]  
SugaDaddy: ** Moving on!

_SugaDaddy has added  Semi-skimmed to the chat!_

**SugaDaddy:** You were invited for a reason!  
**SugaDaddy:** Now stay here!

 **[9:00pm]  
Semi-skimmed: ** ffs

 **Godziwa:** welcome back i guess

 **[9:03pm]  
Semi-skimmed: ** thanks

 **[9:04pm]  
Semi-skimmed:** i guess

 **Godziwa:** wow fuck u 2

 **[9:09pm]  
Semi-skimmed: ** I'd rather you didnt tbh

 **Yakult:** oml who r u  
**Yakult:** suga???

 **SugaDaddy:** Ok, rude.

 **Godziwa:** Semi-skimmed.

 **Semi-skimmed:** just Semi fml

 **Godziwa:** Just Semi fml, then.

 **[9:13pm]  
** **Semi-skimmed:** omfg  
**Semi-skimmed:** ur a shithead did u know that

 **Godziwa:** Thank You.  
**Godziwa:** Anyways. You should feel honoured to be fucked by me. I can make you feel things you've never felt before. I'm so good I'll have yoU scReakeop d..&8

 **Semi-skimmed:** first of all  
**Semi-skimmed:** i'll pass  
**Semi-skimmed:** secondly

 **[9:18pm]  
Yakult: ** wtf

 **Semi-skimmed:** ^^ thasy  
**Semi-skimmed:** *that

 **Owlsareoverrated:** I feel like that wasn't Godziwa typing though ?

 **[9:21pm]  
Godziwa: ** it wasnt

 **SugaDaddy:** Oikawa?

 **Godziwa:** shittykawa **.**

 **SugaDaddy:** Thought as much~

......

 **[9:28pm]  
** **Godziwa:** wait so  
**Godziwa:** who is everybody

 **Owlsareoverrated:** I am Akaashi Keiji and I have the unfortunate luck of dating Bokuto  
**Owlsareoverrated:** You can just call me Akaashi

 **Semi-skimmed:** Semi Eita

 **[9:32pm]  
Semi-skimmed: ** shit wait Bokuto Koutarou????

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Yes.

 **Semi-skimmed:** oh wow

 **Owlsareoverrated** : Is there a problem with that

 **[9:34pm]  
Semi-skimmed:** wat no

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Good. 

 **[9:36pm]  
SugaDaddy: ** Oh? Are we saying who we're dating now?

 **SugaDaddy:** Well I'm sure you all know my name but for those in the back I'm Sugawara Koushi and my man is the one and only thighchi  
**SugaDaddy:** *Daichi

 **[9:38pm]  
** **Godziwa:** Sawamura? Huh  
**Godziwa:** Iwaizumi Hajime and im single

 **SugaDaddy:** I could've sworn you were with Oikawa (ﾟωﾟ)

 **Godziwa:** whAt  
**Godziwa:** no never wtf

 **[9:40pm]  
** **Yakult:** Yaku Morisuke for any1 who forgot and im also single  
**Yakult:** p.s my condolences akaashi

 **Owlsareoverrated:**?

 **Yakult:** rip ur peaceful days

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Oh.

 **[9:43pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** Thank you so mucj it':s hard to find someone who unDerstnds my pain  
**Owlsareoverrated:** *much *it's *understands

 **Yakult:** u r literally talking to the guy who rooms with kuroo

 **[9:46pm** **]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** Yaku-san.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** Where have you been all my life

 **Godziwa:** LOL

 **[9:50pm]  
Semi-skimmed: ** wow akaashi dont cri

 **Owlsareoverrated:** I'm at the library so I couldn't even if I wanted to

 **Semi-skimmed:** wtf r u doing in the library at this hour

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Studying lol

 **[9:57pm]  
** **SugaDaddy:** What!  
**SugaDaddy:** Are you by yourself?!

 **[9:59pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** I'm with Bokuto Suga-san  
**Owlsareoverrated:** He's supposed to be studying but isn't and never actually does when he's here

 **Yakult:** wtf is he doin then

 **Godziwa:** yh  
****

**[10:02pm]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** Honestly? I don't know.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** It must be important because he's inadvertently ignoring me.

 **[10:09pm]  
Semi-skimmed:** well find out whats got his attention

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Ok.

......

 **[10:30pm]  
Owlsareoverrated:** I need help hiding a body.

 **[10:32pm]**  
 **Semi-skimmed:** well ur shit out of luck  
**Semi-skimmed:** im in bed rn and have no plans on moving

 **[10:37pm]  
** **Yakult:** it literally isnt eveN 11 u old shit ****  
Yakult: *even  
**Yakult:** what happened btw

 **Godziwa:** even im not in bed  
**Godziwa:** yh what was he doin

 **[10:43pm]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** He was on his phone.

 **[10:46pm]  
Semi-skimmed:** ouch

 **Yakult:** double ouch

 **Godziwa:** triple ouch

 **SugaDaddy:** Quadruple ouch

 **[10:50pm]  
Semi-skimmed:** kick him in the balls and then dump him

 **Godziwa:** solid plan i like that

 **Yakult:** i second that

 **[10:53pm]  
Owlsareoverrated:** Unfortunately, I fear that would not work on him.

 **[11:00pm]  
** **SugaDaddy:**  Don't listen to these violent idiots Akaashi!  
**SugaDaddy:** Revenge is best served cold!! So treat him like he's treating you atm!

 **Owlsareoverrated:** That could work actually. He does thrive off of attention.

 **SugaDaddy:** （＾ω＾）

 **[11:07pm]  
Owlsareoverrated:** Has a violent approach actually worked for any of you?

 **Yakult:** well hes not my bf ew  
**Yakult:** but when kuroos bein all obnoxious and   
**Yakult:** omg

 **[11:13pm]  
Yakult: ** this 1 time he set the frying pan on fire because he was on his phone so i hit him with the pan and it hasnt happened again

 **SugaDaddy:** You say it as if this didn't happen just two days ago

 **[11:19pm]  
** **Godziwa:** if it counts oikawas recently been more annoying than usual  
**Godziwa:** he wouldnt stop talking about how ushibaka is so stupid and why is he in that groupchat  
**Godziwa:** i just kick him and he shuts right up

 **[11:22pm]  
** **Semi-skimmed:** Oikawa Tooru??  
 **Semi-skimmed:** gdi i cant escape that name  
**Semi-skimmed:** ushiwaka says it more frequently now and its hell  
****

**[11:25pm]  
Semi-skimmed:** but the shocker is that apparently hes on his phone during lectures like ???? Who r u

 **SugaDaddy:** I didn't realise you were in one of his classes Semi

 **Semi-skimmed:** im not

 **[11:28pm]  
Owlsareoverrated:**  Then how did you know that?

 **Semi-skimmed:** i have my sources

 **[11:30pm]  
SugaDaddy:** Does one of those sources happen to have red hair

 **Semi-skimmed:** idk what ur talkin about

 **Godziwa:** lol there is this guy with red hair who meets Ushiwaka outside class sometimes  
**Godziwa:** do u know who he is semi

 **Semi-skimmed:** not a clue

 **[11:34pm]  
Semi-skimmed:** hang on how do u kno that

 **Godziwa:** oh ushiwakas in most of my classes   
**Godziwa:** is he studying to be an athletic trainer 2 ??

 **Semi-skimmed:** dont think so 

 **[11:40pm]  
Godziwa:** ok

 **[11:47pm]  
SugaDaddy:** Is that what you want to be Iwaizumi?

 **Godziwa:** yh

 **SugaDaddy:** Cool~  
**SugaDaddy:** I'm studying to be a nursery teacher!

 **Owlsareoverrated:** That strangely suits you Suga-san.

 **SugaDaddy:** Thanks!!

 **[11:52pm]  
Yakult:** idk what i wanna do but i'm studying architecture atm

 **Owlsareoverrated:** I'm taking Art. I would like to be an Artist, but I am also taking a course for Tattooing.

 **[11:59pm]**  
**Semi-skimmed:** is everyone just ok with revealing their life to strangers

 **Godziwa:** idm it 

 **Owlsareoverrated:** We aren't complete strangers Semi-san.

 **[12:04am]  
SugaDaddy: ** What was that Semi?

 **Semi-skimmed:** what

 **SugaDaddy:** Add Tendou did you say ?

 **Godziwa:** who

 **Yakult:** who dat

 **Owlsareoverrated:**  Tendou Satori??

 **Semi-skimmed:** i will L E A VE

 **SugaDaddy:** (⌒▽⌒)  
**SugaDaddy:** and yes Akaashi~

 **[12:13am]  
Semi-skimmed: ** dont you dare Suga i s2g

_SugaDaddy has added  NinTendou to the chat!_

**Semi-skimmed:** tendou leave

 **[12:24am]  
NinTendou: ** ororo? No first name this time????????????!

 **Yakult:** #exposed

 **Semi-skimmed:** stfu and g o

 **NinTendou:** ur right next to me !!!  
**NinTendou:** make me~~ (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎

 **Semi-skimmed:** l i sten u shit

 **[12:31am]  
NinTendou: ** &HEL Pdso/

_NinTendou has left the chat :(_

**SugaDaddy:** Didn't you say you were in bed Semi~?

 **Yakult:** HOW SCANDELOUS

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Oh my Semi-san.

 **[12:50am]  
** **Semi-skimmed:** for the record im taking maths and all that shit to be a teacher  
**Semi-skimmed:** oh and fuck u all

_Semi-skimmed has left the chat :(_

**[12:59am]  
Yakult: ** how lovely

* * *

 **EXTRA SCENE:**

_Semi-skimmed  has created a new chat with Owlsareoverrated!_

**[2:06am]  
Semi-skimmed:** would u be willing to meet me for coffee or some shit

 **[2:14am]**  
**Owlsareoverrated:** I don't really know you?  
**Owlsareoverrated:** And why are you asking such a thing at 2am

 **[2:17am]  
Semi-skimmed: ** oh sorry forgot some people sleep at this time

 **Owlsareoverrated:** It's fine. I was awake anyways

 **Semi-skimmed:**  ok  
**Semi-skimmed:** and unless i was mistaken  
**Semi-skimmed:** Bokuto Koutarou is Tendou Satori's cousin ??

 **[2:21am]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** Yes, you are right  
**Owlsareoverrated:** but what does that have to do with us meeting up?

 **Semi-skimmed:** well  
**Semi-skimmed:** i have to deal with tendou's devil ass for an unhealthy amount of time and

 **[2:27am]  
Semi-skimmed:** what with u dating bokuto i thought maybe uh

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Say no more.

 **[2:30am]  
Owlsareoverrated:** What day and time were you thinking?

 **[2:32am]  
** **Semi-skimmed:** oh thank god  
**Semi-skimmed:** how does thursday at 12:30 sound

 **Owlsareoverrated:** AM? Oh I'm not sure if I can make it

 **Semi-skimmed:** wow  
**Semi-skimmed:** unbelievable

 **[2:35am]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:** Lmao. Thursday's fine.  
**Owlsareoverrated:** 1pm is better for me though

 **Semi-skimmed:** ok no problem  
**Semi-skimmed:** thx btw

 **Owlsareoverrated:** You're welcome

 **[2:38am]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** Oh and Semi-san?

 **Semi-skimmed:** just call me semi akaashi

 **[2:40am]  
Semi-skimmed** : and what

 **Owlsareoverrated:** Your secret is safe with me.

 **Semi-skimmed:**??

 **[2:44am]  
** **Owlsareoverrated:**  It's ok. I know some people aren't ready to out themselves  
**Owlsareoverrated:** So I won't say anything about it in the groupchat

 **Semi-skimmed:** akaashi seriously wtf r u goin on about

 **[2:49am]  
Owlsareoverrated:** Why I'm talking about you dating Tendou-san of course

 **Semi-skimmed:** W H A T NO  
**Semi-skimmed:**  .... Gn akaashi

 **Owlsareoverrated:**.... (c" ತ,_ತ)  
**Owlsareoverrated:** Goodnight Semi

 **[2:58am]  
Owlsareoverrated: ** Oh and please say goodnight to Tendou-san for me

 **Semi-skimmed:** LEAVE ME ALONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. If anyone would like to help, I'm coming up empty with usernames for Terushima, Kags, Hinata, Goshiki and Kindaichi~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyeeee!! I'm back~!
> 
> How is everyone? Good i hope?
> 
> Anyways! Ugh sorry no captain chat in this chap(lolol) this scene basically wrote itelf ok gosh...
> 
> Did I say earlier that Terushima will be here soon sometime earlier??? Whoops. I actually have that bit written out and oh look an AUofterushimabeingukaisnephew
> 
> Damn. 
> 
> HOPE YOU ENJOY!

{One week before the beautiful creation of the "#CaptainSquad" group chat.}

_Nekomeow has created a new chat with  Puddinghead!_

**[10:05am]**  
**Nekomeow:** Kenma!  
**Nekomeow:** Kenmaaaaa

 **[10:11am]**  
**Nekomeow:** Ken

 **[10:12am]**  
**Nekomeow:** ma

 **[10:20am]**  
**Nekomeow:** hi Ken  
**Nekomeow:** do u wanna go for a ride  
**Nekomeow:** sure thing  
**Nekomeow:** IM A BARBIE GIRLL

 **[10:32am]**  
**Nekomeow:** KEN MA  
**Nekomeow:** KENNIE MY MAN

 **[10:40am]**  
**Nekomeow:** i know ur not asleep **  
Nekomeow:** answer me !!

 **[11:59am]**  
**Puddinghead:** Kuro?

 **Nekomeow:** he liVes!

 **Puddinghead:** What is this

 **Nekomeow:** it's The App™

 **Puddinghead:** Ok. And how did it get on my phone exactly?

 **Nekomeow:** magic

 **[12:04pm]**  
**Nekomeow:** anyways  
**Nekomeow:** i have an important question to ask

 **[12:10pm]  
Puddinghead: ** If you ask me why the sky is blue again, Kuro, I swear nobody will find your body.

 **[12:13pm]**  
Nekomeow: no no!!  
**Nekomeow:** it is important!  
**Nekomeow:** to my love life!

 **Puddinghead:** You mean lack of.

 **Nekomeow:** exactly !!

 **[12:19pm]  
Puddinghead: ** What do you need me to do?

 **Nekomeow:** well u have chibis # right

 **Puddinghead:** Shoyou?

 **Nekomeow:** yeah yeah

 **Puddinghead:** I do.  
**Puddinghead:** What does he have to do with your love life?

 **[12:26pm]**  
Puddinghead: oh, wait.  
**Puddinghead:** You want Tsukishima's # don't you

 **Nekomeow:** NO!

 **[12:28pm]**  
**Nekomeow:** well yes but not rn

 **Puddinghead:** Uh huh right.

 **Nekomeow:** Gosh Ken could u sound any more unenthusiastic  
**Nekomeow:** actually

 **[12:33pm]  
Puddinghead: ** I could and I'm honestly surprised you could spell that properly.

 **Nekomeow:** dont answer that **  
Nekomeow:** oh ffs

 **[12:39pm]**  
**Puddinghead:** Lol. What did you want with Shoyou?

 **Nekomeow:** ohoho so glad you asked

 **[12:41pm]  
Nekomeow:** do u remember that friend of Tsukki's?

 **Puddinghead:** Yamaguchi Tadashi?

 **Nekomeow:** oho? u know his name? Did i miss something there

 **Puddinghead:** Kuro. Shut up.

 **Nekomeow:** mh sure thing bud

 **Puddinghead:** Do you want my help or not?

 **Nekomeow:**  OK OKIM SORRY

* * *

**[1:15pm]**  
**To:** Shoyou  
**Subject:** [blank]

Hey, Shoyou.

 **[1:17pm]  
From:** Shoyou

_YES ARE U O K_

**[1:20pm]  
To: ** Shoyou

I'm fine. You?

 **[1:22pm]  
From: ** Shoyou

_IM good !! Did u needd somrthin??_

**[1:25pm]**  
**To:** Shoyou

*I'm *need *something and yeah I do.

 **[1:28pm]**  
**From:** Shoyou

_Meanie!!  
What id it?_

**[1:33pm]**  
**To:** Shoyou

Kuro was wondering if you had Yamaguchi's #? *is

 **[1:35pm]**  
**From:** Shoyou

_His wat? smh_

**[1:36pm]  
To:** Shoyou

? His number? *what

 **[1:38pm]**  
From:  Shoyou _  
_

_OHHH! I DINT KNOW WHAT # MENT  
Kenma s t o p_

**[1:40pm]  
To:** Shoyou

*didn't *meant *stop

 **[1:42pm]**  
From:  Shoyou _  
_

_Listen kenma u mean pudding man  
Do u want yama's # or not!_

**[1:44pm]  
To:** Shoyou

I don't really care for it. Kuro does.

 **[1:47pm]  
From:** Shoyou

_Why r u always so spicy kenma_

**[1:49pm]**  
**To:** Shoyou

Wtf, Sho?

 **[1:59pm]**  
**From:** Shoyou

 _Nvm :D  
Here u go!! _ **{Contact Attached: Yamagu...}**

 **[2:03pm]**  
**To:** Shoyou  
  
Thanks, Sho.

 **[2:06pm]**  
**From:** Shoyou

_Np !!_

**[2:13pm]**  
**To:** Shoyou

Hey, wait. Have you got The App™?

 **[2:20pm]**  
**From:** Shoyou  
  
_No? Whar is it_

 **[2:23pm]  
To:** Shoyou

*what and it's one of those group chat kind of things? Like Skype.

 **[2:25pm]  
From:** Shoyou

 _Gdi kenma!!  
_ _Is it good???? Have u got it?_

 **[2:29pm]  
To:** Shoyou

It's ok. And Kuro downloaded it on my phone.

 **[2:32pm]  
From:** Shoyou

_Ah! I'll get it then!!_

**[2:45pm]  
To:** Shoyou

Oh. Ok. Have fun?

 **[3:03pm]  
From: ** Shoyou

_My users Icanshoyoutheworld add me~_

**[3:10pm]  
To:** Shoyou

I would tell you mine, but idk it.

 **[3:15pm]**  
**From:** Shoyou

_Oh! Cant u see it on ur profile?_

**[3:22pm]  
To:** Shoyou

Ah. I see.  
Excuse me while I go and murder Kuro.

 **[3:35pm]  
From:** Shoyou

_Kenma?_

......

 **[4:01pm]  
** Puddinghead: **{Contact Attached: Yamagu...}**  
**Puddinghead:** You're dead to me.

 **[4:09pm]  
Nekomeow:** aw dont be like that~

_Puddinghead has changed their username to  Apple3.14_

**Nekomeow:** kewl name Ken

_Apple3.14 has left the chat :(_

* * *

It was an early Wednesday night, that Yamaguchi was once again 'round his most trusted, amazing, loving and caring best friend's crib. (Basically. Any one of his friends who most _definitely did not_ go by the name Tsukishima Kei.)

"Yamaguchi. I thought you were here to study?"

He yelped at the accusation and accidentally dropped the pen he was previouslt tapping against the _still closed_ textbook in his lap. "Tsukki, I _was_ studying!"

That was a complete lie. But hey. What Tsukki didn't know-

"Make it more believable next time? Maybe when your book's not closed and your gaze isn't out my window?"

- _he still knew anyways. (He hadn't even turned around!)_

He huffed, and ten minutes later he found himself working on a maths equation that he believed to of come from satan himself.

It was just as he oopened his mouth to complain about said equation when his phone suddenly buzzed against his thigh.

 _Who..?_ He thought, and, at first, he was going to ignore it because it was usually Hinata who sent him some of _the_ stupidest shit (like Kageyama's feet sticking out of his bed) so of course the thought of ignoring it bounced around his head.

But then he did want a distraction(even if it was a picture Kageyama's giant feet, anything at this point in time is better than finding out _why the fuck x does not equal 8.5 like what the hell-)_

"Who's that?"

Yamaguchi jumped at his question and scrambled to pick his phone up from where it fell off the bed when he moved.

"How am I supposed to know!?" He shrieked, louder than he actually meant to, and he flinched when Tsukishima sent him a glare over his shoulder.

"Just shut up and answer them," he grunted, shuffling back around on his chair, "It's probably thing 1, anyways."

Was it bad of him to laugh?

....

 **[6:45pm]**  
**From:**  +077-9...  
**Subject:** [blank]

_So. It seems we have a common goal._

..

He blinked down at the message, not recognising the number, and his fingers hovered over the screen as he decided whether to answer them or not.

He opened his mouth to ask Tsukki what he should do, but then clacked it shut on second thoughts because he just knew that that sourpuss would just say to block them.

 **[6:48pm]  
To:** + 077-9...

New phone who dis

 **[6:52pm]  
From:** + 077-9...

_It's ya boi Kuroo Tetsuro  
This is Tsukki's bff right_

**[6:55pm]  
To:** + 077-9...

O shit waddup  
It is in fact i

 **[6:59pm]  
From:** + 077-9...

_Phew saved myself from embarrassment there_

..

A snicker sounded from his nostrils as he stared down at his own reply. He hunched his shoulders in defence to hide his phone when he felt Tsukishima's eyes on him.

"What?" He wearily inquired, side-eyeing his best friend( _or_ bff, as Kuroo put it).

"Who was it then?" His 'bff' asked, eyebrows furrowed in suspicion as he faced him properly.

"Uh..." Yamaguchi sweat, slowly lowering himself onto the floor so his back rest against the bed.

" _God_ , Yamaguchi," Tsukishima sighed, and with a roll of his eyes, said, "If you don't want to tell me, _just say so_."

He slowly nodded for lack of another reaction, and blinked when all Tsukishima did in reply was sigh and turn back around.

Well. That was that, it seemed.

..

 **[7:10pm]  
To: ** +077-9...

How did you get this number btw ?

..

Because, yes. As much as he didn't mind Kuroo having his number(it really was no harm), he wanted to know which traitorous shit it was that gave it to him in the first place. (And if that, horrible, _horrible_ tugging in his gut was anything to go by, than it was most likely that-

..

 **[7:16pm]**  
**From:**  +077-9...

_Courtesy of karasuno's one and only little giant™_

..

-tiny little ace of theirs. Fuck his life)

 **[7:18pm]**  
**To:**  +077-9...

Ofc it was

..

He stared down at his phone, a little bit shocked at his own response, but not really.

He was kind of( _heavily_ )being influenced by Tsukki's sour dislike of Hinata, and, god help him, but sometimes( _sometimes_ ) he felt it was justified.

(Once again for those in the back; fuck. his. life.)

Stopping his thoughts from heading down the path of when in the hell his patience for Hinata's innocently oblivious nature(because he wouldn't consciously annoy Tsukki, _would he_?) his phone lit up with a dull glow that it did before his phone changed to its lockscreen.

 **[7:21pm]  
From: ** +077-9...

_It seems that we both want to get with each other's bff_

..

His eyebrows raised all the way to his hairline, and he pursed his lips in slight suspicion. (He also, _finally_ , added Kuroo to his contacts and gave him a more than fitting name which may or may not have made him snicker into his hand.)

 **[7:26pm]  
To: ** Kurooster

Oh really? Says who

 **[7:33pm]**  
**From:** Kurooster

_Says the person who knows of ur lingering stares_

**[7:38pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

Yeah? Fite me

 **[7:41pm]**  
**From:** Kurooster

_Oh but my friend. We could help each other!!_

**[7:45pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

.....   
Uh huh go on

 **[7:49pm]**  
**From:** Kurooster

_So my bff and u yeah and ur bff and me.  
U with me so far yams?_

**[7:54pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

Ooooh i see and yams? Cute <3

..

(the little heart was because he was a shithead who really shouldn't have been allowed to text Kuroo, of _all_ people, in the first place (something about the man made his inner-but-not-really-inner-memer come out.))

 **[7:59pm]**  
**From:** Kurooster

_Ikr!  
So far ive formulated a plan with 5 stages to it_

**[8:03pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

Im listening

 **[8:05pm]**  
**From:** Kurooster

_Stage 1: Contact. The swapping of numbers and relevant contact information._

**[8:11pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

U Smart

 **[8:16pm]**  
**From:** Kurooster

 _Thanks im also loyal ;)_  
_Stage 2: Engage. The meeting up with bae._

 **[8:18pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

Gotcha

(Yamaguchi blushed in embarrassment when he found himself nodding in reply.)

 **[8:21pm]**  
**From:** Kurooster

_Stage 3: Flirtship. Progressing the relationship with bae and portraying interest._

**[8:25pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

Right that sounds legit

 **[8:27pm]  
From:** Kurooster

 _Stage 4: The Date™_  
_Stage 5: Fucking._

 **[8:30pm]**  
**To:** Kurooster

Firstly can i just say brilliant plan really A+  
Secondly i bet u had that sign saved in ur notes or somethn didnt u

 **[8:34pm]  
From:** Kurooster 

_Is that sarcasm like i cant tell  
I will not deny nor confirm that accusation _

**[8:37pm]  
To:** Kurooster

Not my problem ^_−☆  
So thats a yes nice to know

 **[8:39pm]  
From:** Kurooster

_I am offended_

**[8:43pm]  
To:** Kurooster

Uh huh ok so i think you've missed a few steps between The Date™ and fucking

 **[8:46pm]  
From:** Kurooster

_Mh nope dont think so thats it_

**[8:49pm]  
To:** Kurooster

No listen i'm sure u have

 **[8:53pm]  
From:** Kurooster

_Yams. I know what im doin_

**[8:55pm]  
To:** Kurooster

Kuroo no u don't

 **[8:57pm]  
From:** Kurooster

_Trust me i do_

**[9:00pm]  
To:** Kurooster

Yh no thanks besides if u want to get with Tsukki ur gonna have to put more stages between 4 and 5

 **[9:03pm]  
From:** Kurooster

_Yams!! I thought we were bros!?_

**[9:07pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

Nope. Think again

 **[9:10pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

_Wow this is the last time i do something nice for someone else damn_

**[9:12pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

Hey hey! Ur plan has some merit  
But it is lacking something very important

 **[9:15pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 _Oh yeah?_  
_Hit me with it yams_

 **[9:19pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

Codenames. And we need to name the plan

 **[9:22pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 _OH_  
_MY_  
_GOD_  
_GENIUS_

 **[9:24pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

Yes thank u thank u i try ;)

 **[9:27pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 _Ive got it._  
_So i'll be Kit-cat_

 **[9:29pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

Oooh nice pun there  
The name's Crow's float

 **[9:33pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

_Thank u my good sir_

**[9:36pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

OH I HAVE THE PLAN NAMES

 **[9:38pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 _YEAH?!_  
_HMU_

 **[9:41pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

KUROOSHIMA  
AND  
KENMAGUCHI

 **[9:43pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 _OOHHHHH ARE THEY OUR SHIPPING NAMES_  
_NICE ONE YAMS_

 **[9:47pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

YAAAS

 **[9:49pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 _AHH MUCH HYPE_  

 **[9:53pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

IKR  
**{Contact Attached: Tsukishim....}** KUROOSHIMA IS A GO

 **[9:56pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

_wait wait gimme a sec yams damn!_

......

_Nekomeow has created a new chat with  Apple3.14 (again)!_

**Nekomeow:** hey Kenma

 **[10:02pm]  
Apple3.14:** What?

 **Nekomeow:** u still got yams # yeah?

 **Apple3.14:** 'Yams'?

 **Nekomeow:** Yamaguchi!

 **Apple3.14:** Uhm, yes? Why wouldn't I lol

 **[10:11pm]  
Apple3.14: ** And since when did you call him Yams?

 **Nekomeow:** ohoho? Jealous are we

 **Apple3.14:** Shut up, Kuro.

 **Nekomeow:** SO HARSH :(((

 **[10:17pm]  
Nekomeow:** also do u mind if i give yams ur #

 **Apple3.14:** No, it's fine.

 **Nekomeow:** roger that

......

 **[10:23pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 **{Contact Attached: Kozume Ke....}** _KENMAGUCHI IS A GO_

 **[10:25pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

GOD SPEED

 **[10:29pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

_GOD SPEED_

**[10:31** **pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

_Wait hold up_

**[10:34pm]** **  
****To:** Kurooster

What

 **[10:39pm]** **  
****From:** Kurooster

 _Yams my good sir_  
_Have u heard of The App™?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything too ooc? Hit me up sugar.
> 
> Ok so i got mainly everyone's users figured out now but thank you for everyone who commented their ideas/suggestions!
> 
> If anyone's lost on who which user is, I'll happily do a list, but otherwise I'm pretty sure they're self explanitory. If not, than their writing style should be lmao.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry but this chap is more of an interlude than anything plot-ty(but then this whole fic is all over the place so what ever fuck it)... BUT TERUSHIMA IS HERE! (Briefly lmao)
> 
> Anyways! Do enjoy and feel free to comment if you think any characters are OOC(or if you a particular scene to be written because wow after the next chap i have written- I'm stuck..)
> 
> OH YEAH! I'm sure you've all noticed by now, but any spelling mistakes, lack of punctuation or cringe-worthy grammar is purely deliberate!

His phone rang in his pocket as he stood in the train station.

Daichi sent a quick apology to an elderly person beside him when they jumped at the sudden loud and screaming tune that belonged to his phone which, undoubtly had Suga written all over it(not literally, of course. But that would make a pretty neat phone cas-)

With a twitching eye and hasty fingers, he answered the call without a second look at the unknown digits on the screen.

_"Sawamura!"_

He blinked at the shout, and took the phone away from his ears to look at the number again because _why did they sound so familiar_?

He put the phone back to his ear when he didn't recognise the number, and he stifled a laugh when he caught the end of their sentence.

_"-fucking kids these days- hello?"_

He cleared his throat. "Speaking. Who am I talking to?" He politely spoke, taking into account the judging stares digging into his form from all angles.

 _"You serious? I knew you were an old man at heart- but really, Sawamura?_ "

He choked at the impolite tone they used, and really, there was only one person( _apart from Suga_ , his mind helpfully supplied) that spoke to him like that.

"C-Coach?" He spluttered, staring bewilderdly at the train tracks. "Coach Ukai?" He specified.

 _"The one and only,"_ they drawled, and there was a pause on the line. _"Well, not really but you get what I mean..."_

He shook his head and grinned. "Is everything ok?"

_"What-? Oh, yeah."_

Daichi raised a skeptical 'brow. "You sure? Nothing happened, right?"

_"Unfortunately, my nephew did."_

"Oh." He blinked, confused at the annoyed tone. "Congratulations?"

_"Uh, no. He's a rebellious shithead of a teen."_

Daichi actually laughed at that. "What, _your_ nephew? Shocker." He scoffed, teasing.

 _".... Fuck off,"_ Ukai barked, sharp and defensive that Daichi couldn't help but snicker. _"_ _Anyways. You still at Uni?"_

"Yeah." He nodded, "I have a year and a bit left, actually."

_"Great!"_

Daichi's stomach dropped, and he was sure that whatever the reason for Coach Ukai calling him; his life was about to get 99.9999% more stressful.

Also doesn't help that his train is now delayed by ten minutes.

(Fuck his life, honestly.)

* * *

A few days(three) after his over-the-phone conversation with Ukai had Daichi standing just outside of the same train station.

" _Sa-wa-mu-ra_ ~!"

A sigh left his lips at the sudden voice, and he turned around to deal with the inevitable.

"Terushima," he greeted, trying to hide his wince at the wide smirk on the mans lips. "How are you?"

He snorted and easily brushed off Daichi's politeness by diving right in. "More importantly-" his smirk turned wicked and he wiggled his eyebrows. "how's Megane-chan~?"

Daichi raised an eyebrow. "Tsukishima? He's doing fine, last I heard of him," he mused, jerking his head away from the station. "Come on."

Terushima stumbled after him. "Who are you-?" He blinked.

"Tsukishima Kei? That tall blonde middle blocke-"

"What! No, not _him_!"

And just because he was feeling extra fabulous today, "Oh? Then I don't know who you're talking about."

"You-!" Terushima huffed, tsk-ing under his breath. "The cu-tie manager!"

Daichi slyly grinned at his reaction. "I know," he simply said.

"Then why the _fuck_ -"

Daichi broke out in a cackle that he only could've gotten from Suga.

....

The short walk from the train station to the Uni was not at all as awkward as Daichi thought it'd be. Terushima was surprisingly chill, but Daichi knew a hell of a lot better if the little teasing smirks and his exuberant hand gestures were anything to go by.

"Sooo," Daichi started after they'd just crossed a road and the only noise between them was the squeaking of Terushima's suitcase wheels. "Do you know who your dorm-mates are?"

"Huh?" Terushima blinked. "Oh, yeah." He pat down his jean pockets and pulled out a piece of paper, and Daichi winced when he heard a small rip.

"Oops. Anyways." He whistled. "Know anyone called Bo-" he paused to squint at the paper. "-kuto? Bokuto Koutarou." He pursed his lips and then shoved the paper in his back pocket. "There's four others but his name rings a bell for some reason."

Daichi, no matter how hard he tried, could not help the small, tired, withered, completely _done_ groan that left his lips at the name.

He ignored Terushima's look of confused amusement _because it should not have been there_ \- and resigned himself to answering.

"Yeah." He sighed, unable to stop the feeling of foreboding. "I know him."

.....

It came as no surprise, when but a few hours( _godfuckingdamnit_ -) later, his phone had pinged with a notification from that captains groupchat he was in. 

 **[7:32pm]  
Bowlkuto: ** bros i have found another 1 of us !!&

There was only one person that he could be talking about.

Daichi cursed his bumfuck luck, because he was pretty sure that when Ukai had so kindly asked him to pick Terushima up from the station, introduce him to some friends and generally look after him; this was not what he meant.

(Because he just _knows_ Ukai wanted Daichi to at least keep Terushima's 'delinquent' ways to a minimum.)

Having Bokuto as a dorm-mate really should've been Daichi's first sign that things were not going to give him as little trouble as he hoped, and instead add to his Already-Stressed-And-Let-Me-Die-In-Peace™ life.

_Bowlkuto has added  Mt.Yuuji to the chat!_

**[7:38pm]  
Mt.Yuuji:** HEEEEY TERUSHIMA YUUJI HERE BOYS (^з^)-☆  
**Mt.Yuuji:** WHOS READY TO P A RT Y 

Seriously. Fuck his life.

* * *

New day, new chat; different people, same shit.

_Illuminaticonfirmed has created a new chat with  Memettsun, Smakkme, Yahabye and Hakunimitata!_

_Illuminaticonfirmed has changed the group name to "which one of you fucks started the rumour"_

**[11:43pm]  
****Illuminaticonfirmed:** listen here you memeing hoes

 **[11:50pm]  
Memettsun: ** listening™

 **[11:52pm]  
Smakkme: ** fellas in the back can u Hear™

 **[11:56pm]  
Yahabye: ** Please. He's loud enough.

 **[11:59pm]**  
 **Hakunimitata:** It's a wonder how he manages to be so loud over text  
**Hakunimitata:** This better be important btw I was sleeping

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** it is!! You werent asleep anyways Kunimi-chan~

 **Hakunimitata:** And how would you know that

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** ψ(｀∇´)ψ i have my ways

 **[12:02am]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:**  and yes i am wonderful arent i

 **Smakkme:** ofc thats what u got out of that

 **Memettsun** **:** thats cap for ya *looks down at smudged handwriting* oinkawa toeru

 **Smakkme:** LOL  
**Smakkme:** u gonna take that oinkawa?

 **[12:09am]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** I AM NOT A PIG !!

 **Memettsun:**  Mcpig-san™

 **Smakkme:** pft if iwaizumi was here i bet he'd be all like PIGGYKAWA 

 **Memettsun:** hahaaa no doubt about it

 **[12:15am]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:** how about u two stfu and let me talk  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** plz

 **Smakkme:** well damn oikawa  
**Smakkme:** how could we say no to such politeness

 **Memettsun:** take the stage my brother

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:**  :P fuck off makki

 **Smakkme:** fuck ON

 **Memettsun:** mh nice one pal  
**Memettsun:** i do like me some memenight snacks

 **[12:18am]  
Smakkme:** gasp that was  
**Smakkme:** beaUtiful

 **Memettsun:** im flattered

 **Smakkme:** papi dat ass™ aint

 **Memettsun:** mmmmhhh thank thank

 **[12:20am]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:**  ANYWAYS!  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** it has come to my recent attention that there has been an unsavoury rumour of Iwa-chan and i being spread around

 ** **[12:24am]  
Hakunimitata:**  **Is that it ?

 **[12:26am]**  
**Yahabye:** Ooh gossip.

 **Hakunimitata:** Pretty sure Oikawa only talks to us to bitch and moan

 **Yahabye:** Like he is now?

 **Hakunimitata:** My point exactly

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:**  (┛◉_◉)┛

 **[12:32am]  
Memettsun: ** he does enough moaning to iwa-chan~

 **Hakunimitata:** Omg

 **Yahabye:**!!  
**Yahabye:** Looool.

 **[12:38am]**  
 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** what!the!fuck!   
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** FIG HT ME MATRSUN

 **Memettsun:** sorry idk a matrsun

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** U KNOW WHAT NO  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** FUK U

 **[12:44am]  
Smakkme: ** fuck iwaizumi

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** FUCK OFF MAKKI

 **Yahabye:** Fuck ON.

 **Memettsun:** o mg  
**Memettsun:** that was a beautiful use of The Makki Classic™

 **Smakkme:** a moment of silence for that a+ reply **  
Smakkme:** who r u

 **Yahabye:** I'm you, but stronger.

 **Memettsun:** LMAOO  
**Memettsun:** and the student becomes the master

 **Smakkme:** wtF WHERE IS YAHABA U ALIEN SHITFACE

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** did someone say Alien

 **Memettsun:** why is that capitalized  
**Memettsun:** omg thats ur autocorrect isnt it

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** no!

 **Smakkme:**  why the fuck u lyin

 **Memettsun:** why u always lyin

 **Smakkme:** MMMH OH MY GOD

 **Memettsun:** STOP FUCKIN LYIN

 **[12:49am]  
Hakunimitata: ** Why are you acting like this

 **Yahabye:** I knew it was a mistake as soon as I sent it.  
**Yahabye:** Kill me now.

 **[12:52am]  
Smakkme: ** #YahabaMemeru

 **Hakunimitata:** What is that monstrosity

 **Yahabye:** No.  
**Yahabye:** Who gave you permission to just slaughter my name like that?

 **Memettsun:** ur mum  
**Memettsun:** last night ;)

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** ⊙０⊙  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** LOLL 

 **Smakkme:** R E K T

 **[1:02am]  
Memettsun:** yeah she was

 **Smakkme:** MATTSUN U FUCKIN  
**Smakkme:** AHAHAHAHHAAAAA

 **Memettsun:** if u come round i can give u a demo ;)

 **Smakkme:** u sly dog

 **[1:08am]**  
**Hakunimitata:** Did you forget there were other people here or

 **Smakkme:** or

 **Memettsun:** or

 **Yahabye:** Put your flirting in the bin where it belongs.

 **Hakunimitata:** I agree  
**Hakunimitata:** It is rather... disturbing

 **Smakkme:** our love should be admired by u kouhais

 **Memettsun:** yh our relationship is what u guys should aspire to have wit ur own baes

 **Yahabye:** Yeah, no thanks. **  
Yahabye:** And I do not have a 'bae'.

 **[1:13am]  
Smakkme: ** o really ?

 **Yahabye:** Yes.

 **Hakunimitata:** Wait but I saw you with Kyoutani the other day Yahaba

 **Smakkme:** OHHHHH

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** Yaha-chan! Why did u never tell meeee

 **Memettsun:** #exposeyahaba2k17

_Hakunimitata has changed the group name to "#exposeYahaba2k17"_

**Yahabye:** I was doing no such thing.

 **Hakunimitata:** Yeah?

 **Yahabye:** Yes.

 **Hakunimitata:** You sure? **  
Hakunimitata:** Last chance to change your answer

 **[1:19am]  
Yahabye: ** What, why?

 **Hakunimitata:** [New picture message!]

 **Smakkme:** is that who i think it is **  
Smakkme:**  why do i recognise that hair i wonder

 **Memettsun:** my dear that's becoz its kyoutanis

 **Smakkme:** ah i see

 **Memettsun:** and im sure thats yahaba beside him

 **Smakkme:** yh yh but sweetheart

 **[1:25am]  
Memettsun: ** yes babes

 **Smakkme:** did i leave my glasses at urs or r they holding hands  
**Smakkme:**  ( ￢  ͜ʖ ￢ )

 **Memettsun:** mmmmmhhhhhhhh care to explain that one yahaba ?

_Yahabye has left the chat :(_

**Illuminaticonfirmed:** (΄◉◞o◟◉｀)

 **[1:39am]  
Hakunimitata:** Oops?

* * *

 **[5:31pm]**  
**Smakkme:** so i was scrollin through my phone coz shit storage  
**Smakkme:** and look at this beaut i forgot i had

 **[5:33pm]  
Smakkme: ** [New video content!]

 **[5:40pm]**  
 **Memettsun:** o my fuc  
**Memettsun:** u still have that? thats like what when they first moved in together?

 **Smakkme:** yh man it was at their house warming party  
**Smakkme:** good times

 **Memettsun:** ah

 **[5:50pm]**  
 **Hakunimitata:** R e j e c t e d by Iwaizumi  
**Hakunimitata:** Again

 **Memettsun:** its only been a yr but oikawa has not changed like at all

 **Smakkme:** u expected him 2?

 **Memettsun:**  a man can dream

 **[6:09pm]**  
**Smakkme:**  pffft  
**Smakkme:**  hey oikawa r u tryin for a world record here for how much u can piss off iwaizumi or somethin

 **Memettsun:** or he could just be a masochist

 **[6:20pm]**  
 **Illuminaticonfirmed:**  WHO THE FUCKSENT  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** MAKKI U SHIT   
**Illuminaticonfirmed:**   ANDEXCUSE ME I AM NOT A MASOCHIST

 **Smakkme:** well ure excused bye felicia

 **Memettsun:** yaha-bye

 **[6:26pm]  
Hakunimitata:** See yaha-later

 **Memettsun:** AYYE

 **Smakkme:** welcome to the meme side my friend

 **[6:30pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** oh no

 **Hakunimitata:** Oh yes  


**[6:33pm]  
Hakunimitata: ** Please look after me senpais

_Illuminaticonfirmed has added  Yahabye to the chat!_

**Illuminaticonfirmed:** Yaha-chan!  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** save me from these memeing assholes !!

 **Hakunimitata:** How original

 **[6:39pm]**  
**Yahabye:**  Please. The amount of shit you talk makes you one too.

 **Smakkme:** OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Memettsun:** SAVAAAAAGE

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** WTF I BROUGHT U BACK HERE U FUC KE R

 **Hakunimitata:** What an entrance

 **Smakkme:** dad would be proud of u yahaba

 **Yahabye:** I know.

 **[6:44pm]  
Memettsun: ** hey where is iwa-chan anyways

 **Hakunimitata:** Yes I was wondering that too

 **[6:50pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** Iwa-chan said he didn't want to join!

 **Smakkme:** oh really

 **Memettsun:**  well theres a lot of things iwaizumi didnt want to do and u make him do it anyways lol

 **Smakkme:** like being a bottom

 **[6:58pm]**  
Memettsun: exactly makki **  
****Memettsun:** like being a bottom

 **Yahabye:** What the hell?

 **Hakunimitata:** E x p o s e d

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** MATTSUN AND MAKKI  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** IS IT U TWO I HAVE TO THANK FOR USHIBAKA THINKING ME AND IWA-CHAN ARE FUCKING!?

 **Yahabye:** Please. It's not anything new.

 **Memettsun:** what do u mean

 **Smakkme:** OH OOH OH OOH OH OHHHHH

 **Memettsun:** WHEN U NOD UR HEAD YES

 **Smakkme:**  BUT U WANNA SAY NO

 **Hakunimitata:** What do u mean~

 **Smakkme:** AYEEEE

 **Memettsun:** AYEEE

 **[7:10pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** i am surrounded by losers (　˙-˙)

 **[7:13pm]  
Yahabye: ** You should take those photos of yourself down then.

 **Hakunimitata:** Ouch

 **Memettsun:** OH

 **Smakkme:** MY

 **Memettsun:** GOD™

 **Yahabye:** Consider yourself rekt, Oikawa.

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** how can i be wrecked when i look this good  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** [New picture message!]

 **Hakunimitata:** Moving on

 **Yahabye:** Please do.

 **[7:18pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** (°_°) rude

 **[7:20pm]  
Smakkme:** is this a smakkdown

 **Memettsun:** that was awful  
**Memettsun:** loved it ;)

 **Smakkme:** ur welcome

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** nO !

 **Hakunimitata:** I think it is

 **Yahabye:** It sure is.

 **Memettsun:** cool beans 

 **[7:25pm]**  
Smakkme: get with the times u old fart  
**Smakkme:** lets have some fun guys

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:**  this is not a smack-down* !!

 **Smakkme:** did u just  
**Smakkme:** honey r u seeing this

 **Memettsun:** wow oikawa  
**Memettsun:** im disappointed honestly

 **[7:30pm]**  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** What!

 **Smakkme:** unbelievable  
**Smakkme:** i thought we raised u better than this

 **Memettsun:** the disrespeck

 **Hakunimitata:** That was quite rude

 **[7:37pm]  
Yahabye: ** Absolutely awful.

 **Smakkme:** talk about team spirit cap

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** |(￣3￣)| hush

_Hakunimitata has added  Turnipforwhat to the chat!_

**Hakunimitata:** Hey Kin check this out  
**Hakunimitata:** Oikawa smakkdown

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** IT IS NOT

 **[7:49pm]**  
**Turnipforwhat:** oooh niiice  
**Turnipforwhat:** Where's iwaizumi-san tho wouldnt he enjoy this ?

 **Smakkme:** u r absolutely right

 **Memettsun:** indeed shall i do the honors makkironi

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** Don't jsut ignore mee u two!

 **Smakkme:** see this is why we're fuckin mattsun

_Smakkme has changed their username to  Makkironi._

**Makkironi:** go ahead sweaty ;)

_Memettsun has added  Godziwa to the chat!_

**Illuminaticonfirmed:** Iwa-chan! my saviour!

 **[7:56pm]**  
 **Godziwa:** like fuck am i  
**Godziwa:** clean up ur own shit for once crappykawa (凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

_Godziwa has left the chat :(_

**[7:59pm]**  
**Makkironi:** PFFFFT WTF WAS THAT  
**Makkironi:** OIKAWA I THINK YOUVE BEEN DUMPED

 **Memettsun:** DEEEEEEAAADAHAHAHAH AHHA A

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** ლ(ಥДಥლ)   
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** UNBELIEVABLE!!!

 **[8:04pm]  
Yahabye: ** Trouble in paradise?

 **Hakunimitata:** Oikawa what did you do this time

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** nothing!!

 ** **Memettsun:**** damn guess whos sleeping on the couch tonight

 ** **Illuminaticonfirmed:****... i think !?

 **Yahabye:** Yes, well we all know you shouldn't do THAT.

 **[8:12pm]  
Turnipforwhat:** Rip oikawa-san

_Hakunimitata has changed the group name to "#RipOikawa2k17"_

_Illuminaticonfirmed has changed the group name to "all of u go die"_

**Makkironi:** luv u 2 sweaty ;)

 **Memettsun:** yh but riddle me this  
**Memettsun:** how did iwa know oikawa's username ? ;;;;;)

 **Makkironi:** oooohhhhhhhhhh

 **[8:17pm]  
Hakunimitata:** Uhm Oikawa literally just said iwa-chan I dont think it was hard for Iwaizumi to figure out who it was

 **Makkironi:** lol tru

 **Turnipforwhat:** Do i smell a conspiracy

 **Yahabye:** No, that's probably just Oikawa's hairspray.

 **Memettsun:** lmao

 **Makkironi:** naaaah pretty sure its iwaizumis manly bara smell

 **Memettsun:**  oh right the one oikawa moans about but probs rolls around in his sweaty work out clothes

 **Makkironi:** that exact one my man

 **[8:22pm]  
Yahabye:** Excuse me, but what the hell are you two talking about?

 **Turnipforwhat:**??   
**Turnipforwhat:** Do you mean iwaizumi-sans body odour

 **Makkironi:** nope not at all

 **[8:25pm]  
Memettsun:** manly bara smell™ sounds about right to me

 **Turnipforwhat:** Oh ok

 **Hakunimitata:** Don't even try understanding those two Kin

 **Turnipforwhat:** Alright  
**Turnipforwhat:** Can i just ask why this group chat was made or does no one know??

 **Makkironi:** oikawa made this chat dunno why but he fucked off somewhere

 **Memettsun:** fucking* iwaizumi

 **Makkironi:** omg yes probablu  
**Makkironi:** probably

 **Memettsun:** yeah probablu

 **Makkironi:** fuck u

 **Memettsun:** be there in 5 ;)

 **Makkironi:** swoon

 **[8:32pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** NO WORRIES IM HERE !!!!

 **Yahabye:**  Goody. Your presence was much missed, Oikawa.

 **Makkironi:** no yahaba its Mcpig-san™

 **Yahabye:** No way am I typing that.

 **Memettsun:** what if we told u its a team bonding exercise thats been a tradition at seijoh for years

 **Yahabye:** You literally only called him that yesterday.

 **Makkironi:**  no no its been around for years before our birth

 **Yahabye:** Nope.

 **[8:38pm]  
Memettsun: ** has too

 **Hakunimitata:** I can't recall hearing such a thing

 **Makkironi:** yeah?  
**Makkironi:** what next ur gonna tell me u dont remember that time we cradled u in our arms

 **Yahabye:** Yes. Because that never happened either.

 **Memettsun:** how dare u forget

 **Makkironi:** yeah but the important thing is   
**Makkironi:**  did they forget that time oikawa tripped over the bench and iwaizumi caught him

 **[8:44pm]  
Memettsun:** oh yes that fated day™ in 3rd yr

 **Makkironi:** pretty sure it was the birth of iwaoi

 **Memettsun:** mh u think?

 **Makkironi:** honey i k n o w

 **[8:50pm]  
Hakunimitata:** So they are dating after all

 **[8:57pm]  
Yahabye: ** Honestly. How could you think they weren't, Kunimi?

 **[9:09pm]  
Turnipforwhat: ** What ? ? Whos dating?

 **Hakunimitata:** I'll tell you later

 **Turnipforwhat:** K

 **Memettsun:** what was THAT  
  
**Makkironi:**  our predictions r ringin true

 **Memettsun:** we should go into business

 **Makkironi:** hell yh  
**Makkironi:** but wait

 **[9:15pm]  
Memettsun: ** what

 **Makkironi:** yahaba hows kyoutani doing

 **[9:17pm]  
Yahabye: ** Why?

 **Makkironi:** no reason

 **Yahabye:** Uh huh.

_Yahabye has added  MadDog to the chat!_

**Yahabye:** Ask him yourself.

 **Memettsun:** yo kyoutani how r u bro

 **Makkironi:** is yahaba treatin u good my man

 **[9:24pm]  
Yahabye:** What.

 **Hakunimitata:** Oooh

 **[9:37pm]  
MadDog: ** Wtf have you added ME to shi

 **Memettsun:** shi?

 **Makkironi:** shi?

 **Hakunimitata:** Shi?

 **Turnipforwhat:** Shit?  
**Turnipforwhat:** Shi?*

 **[9:43pm]  
Makkironi: ** no no thats probably what he meant right shit™

 **Memettsun:** yeah becoz what else would it be  
**Memettsun:** surely not shi short for shigeru

 **[9:51pm]**  
 **MadDog:**  yes OFC it is  
**MadDog:** Who the hell are You guys

 **Makkironi:** i am offended u dont recognise us

 **Yahabye:** Are you really asking that, Kyoutani?

 **MadDog:** Uh yeah

 **[9:55pm]  
MadDog:** i'm not dumb if i KNew who these peopleWere i wouldn't be Asking now would i

 **Makkironi:** WELL DAMN

 **Memettsun:** trouble in paradise my friend?

 **Yahabye:** Omg. Why.

 **MadDog:** OK well who aRe they then

 **Smakkme:** its ya bois from seijo

 **[10:06pm]  
Memettsun: ** the names mattsun and youre watching Disney Channel!

 **Smakkme:** *draws glow-dick*

 **Yahabye:** Was that really necessary, Hanamaki-san?

 **Smakkme:** very and dude plz my eyes its just makki

 **Yahabye:** Ok. Just Makki-san.

 **Memettsun:** u walked into that 1

 **Smakkme:** i did didnt i

 **[10:14pm]  
Turnipforwhat:** hahaa kindaichi here

 **Hakunimitata:** Kunimi

 **MadDog:** oH right yh i remember you guyS

 **[10:21pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:** Mad dog-chan!

 **MadDog:** the Fuck are u

 **Memettsun:** Mcpig-san™

 **MadDog:** Oh oinkawa

 **Makkironi:** how

 **Hakunimitata:** How

 **[10:24pm]  
Memettsun:** how

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** NOO WHO TOLD

 **MadDog:** shi told me 

 **Makkironi:** and shi is?

 **Yahabye:** Kyoutani, no.

 **MadDog:** (¬_¬) yes  
**MadDog:** yahaba shigeru

 **Hakunimitata:** Congratulations

 **MadDog:** hAh?

 **[10:31pm]  
Yahabye: ** KYOUTANI, WHY!?

 **MadDog:** ಠ_ಠ  
**MadDog:**  shut Up

 **Yahabye:** Unbelievable.

 **Makkironi:** im crying  
**Makkironi:** mattsun theyre just like iwaoi

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** WHAT IS THAT A SHIP NAME FOR ME AND IWA

 **Hakunimitata:** And you know what a ship is .... how?

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** i know everything Kunimi-chan~

 **Memettsun:** bet he googled it

 **Makkironi:** he googled it  
**Makkironi:** wait how do u kno it kunimi

 **Hakunimitata:** Tumblr

 **Memettsun:** say no more

 **[10:39pm]  
Memettsun:**  every1s in agreement that kyouhaba is the iwaoi of their gen right

 **Makkironi:** yh

 **Hakunimitata:** Yes of course

 **Turnipforwhat:** Did i misss omethinng  
**Turnipforwhat:** miss something*

 **Hakunimitata:** Just say yes Kin

 **Turnipforwhat:** yes?

 **Hakunimitata:** Yahaba and Kyoutani are dating 

 **Turnipforwhat:** oh i knew that already

 **Yahabye:** literallyevery1 did

 **Makkironi:** Mcpig-san™ probably didnt

 **Memettsun:** nah nah hes pretty shrewd ya kno

 **[10:47pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed:** i know im just that amazing rightt  
**Illuminaticonfirmed:** AnD I!AM!NOT!A!PIG!

 **Memettsun:** and that is how u summon a narcissist

 **Hakunimitata:** Oh wow

 **Yahabye:** Somehow I'm not surprised that worked.

 **Makkironi:** yeah oikawa ? let us consult a professional then

 **[10:53pm]  
Illuminaticonfirmed: ** wait what

 **Memettsun:** ooh i see i see

 **Makkironi:** more like issei issei

 **Memettsun:** LOOOL **  
Memettsun: ** marry me babe

 **Makkironi:** proposal accepted

 **Turnipforwhat:** What just happened  
**Turnipforwhat:**??

 **Hakunimitata:** I have no words

 **Makkironi:**  lets get this show on the road

_Makkironi has added  Godziwa to the chat!_

**Godziwa:** piggykawa

_Godziwa has left the chat :(_

**Illuminaticonfirmed:** WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING F     U     C     K

 **MadDog:** Ha loL

 **[11:02pm]  
Makkironi: ** did i call it or did i call it

 **Turnipforwhat:** i actually feel a bit sorry for oikawa-san

 **Yahabye:** Don't.

 **Hakunimitata:** Don't

 **Memettsun:** dont

 **Makkironi:** dont™

_Illuminaticonfirmed has changed the group name to "fuck off each and every1 of u"_

**MadDog:** fuck oN

 **Illuminaticonfirmed:** WHY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2AnmsyYqX4
> 
> ^ The video Makki found on his phone lol.
> 
> Thank you for any Kudos, comments, Subscribers, Bookmarks or anything else I missed; but thank you! (Shit that was a long list)


End file.
